


The stars shine brighter in your eyes

by IndigoDream



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: (Im not joking on that they'll be basic names), (as in the astronomical thing not the people thing), Alternate Universe - Human, Light Angst, Lots of stars, M/M, Moving to the Countryside, Muslim Cat, Muslim Character, Muslim Magnus, Muslim madzie, Pining, countryside AU, hints of magical realism, uninspired horse names
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-07-28 23:09:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20072140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IndigoDream/pseuds/IndigoDream
Summary: Alec needs vacations to figure out what he wants to do. He needs to step away from the city and see something new for a bit. Luckily, his stepfather Luke has a cabin in the countryside. Going there, he expects to be left to himself for the time being. He wasn't expecting Magnus Bane at all, but he certainly isn't complaining.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> This was supposed to be an under 10k one shot, but it has become a 23k four part story, so this is all written and I'll post it throughout the upcoming week, probably one chapter every two to three days! 
> 
> In this story, I tried to incorporate as much of Magnus, Catarina and Madzie's religion as I could, because I wanted to show that it was important to them. However, I am not muslim, so if there are any inaccuracies, please tell me! I did some research and read on what muslim people say / do, and I've tried to respect it as much as I can! I'll put a link to one of the big resources I used in the end notes, if people are curious. 
> 
> Enjoy the fic! Don't hesitate to leave a kudos, or even better, a comment! Comments really make a writer's day :)

Stress oozes off Alec in large, disgusting waves, reminding Izzy of a festering wound. She is sitting on the counter of their apartment, eating a bowl of muesli while watching him putter around nervously. Her brother, the overachiever, the dangerously in need of approval of their parents, finished law school six months ago, passed the bar successfully four months after that, and then promptly decided it wasn’t worth it anymore. Which she understands. She saw how unhappy he was there. She remembers the nights when he would go out with her and her friends and get drunk, sobbing on her shoulder by the end of the night. It broke her heart to see her brother, strong and proud Alec, like this.

Knowing the cause of the stress doesn’t help her right now though. Alec has been hopping around New York like a headless chicken for a couple of weeks, and right now, it’s getting worse, if the way he’s methodically cleaning the apartment is any indication. He has fluffed the pillows of the couch three times already; it’s only 9 A.M.

“Hey, Alec,” she calls out and earns herself a glare for where she is sitting. She shrugs; her brother’s murderous looks stopped affecting her when she was seven. “Have you even had breakfast yet?”

He nods tersely. “When I woke up. At 6:30.”

Did Izzy mention it’s a Sunday? Otherwise known as best day of the week to lay in bed half of the morning, at least, and forget about the problems of the world. The fact that Izzy is up before 11 is already a crime, but family lunch is apparently non negotiable, despite her best efforts.

“You know no one is coming here right? Like, we are meeting mom and everyone at the restaurant. You do remember that, right?”

He gives her another murderous look, clearly more for his own benefice than to make her stop. “Yes, Izzy, I’m aware of that fact. Does that mean we shouldn’t keep the apartment clean?”

“Alec, I love you, but you’re obsessing. We cleaned yesterday. It doesn’t need to be cleaned again.”

“Everything is out of place!”

“Because we sat on the couch last night!” She hops down from the counter and comes closer to her brother, forcing him to put down the pillow he’s close to murdering. “Alec, you need to relax. I know you’re stressed, but this isn’t doing you any good. You’ve been stressed for the last two months, and that can’t go on. You need to do something else that think about your future.”

_Easy for you to say,_ Alec wants to snap, _you’ve known what you want to do since you were 12_. In contrast, Alec has got no idea what he wants to do. He went through undergrad and law school like a robot, fulfilling what he thought was his parents’ dream for him. But they had divorced two years ago, a bit of a relief to be honest, and Maryse left the legal system to open an antique shop. It’s great, she’s happy and he’s happy for her. However, his whole plans had been to make his mother proud by becoming a lawyer. Except he hates it so much, he barely knows how he managed to get through the seven years of studying for it. Izzy would probably answer that it was an unhealthy mix of too much caffeine, too little sleep, and a large dose of self hatred.

“I have to do something, Iz,” he says, and hates how weak his voice sounds in that moment. “I can’t just sit around until I have a revelation.”

She sighs and nods. “Right. You know what we’re going to do, this morning? Instead of cleaning obsessively, you’re going to come with me to the gym. You are going to punch some stuff, we are going to head to the ring, I’ll kick your ass, and then we’ll have lunch with our brothers and mother. And Mom’s boyfriend. And his daughter. And her girlfriend too. You know. Family.”

He grins a bit. He can do that.

\---

Lunch is always a fun, if messy, affair nowadays. Alec is tired from the workout Izzy put him through, but it’s the kind of tiredness that has him smile a bit lighter, that has some of the pain in his chest disappear for some time. Izzy did not back out on her promise and thoroughly kicked his ass, without a second thought. He really needed that.

He’s sitting with Maia, who’s not exactly family, but she is his mother’s boyfriend’s daughter’s girlfriend. That’s quite a mouthful, so they all simply go with Maia. Alec likes the woman, she is snarky and fun, and whenever she comes to the bi-weekly family lunch, he always has a better time. Not that he has a bad time otherwise, but still.

He likes Clary and Luke as well. Clary and him are a bit of opposites, but after the first rocky few weeks, they bonded over being, as they eloquently (and very drunkenly) put it, “gay as fuck.”

So yes, family lunch is always a nice thing, when he isn’t stressed out and depressing about his future. Which he is trying very hard not to do right now, and definitely failing.

They are waiting for coffees and dessert while Clary excitedly talks about the new mixed media project she has been asked to collaborate on, and Alec puts his head on the table, quietly hoping that if he bangs it hard enough he may not have to think about his future. Well, it would be unfortunate because then he wouldn’t think about anything at all anymore but well. Sacrifices have to be made.

“Alexander, is everything alright?” The concern in his mother’s voice makes him look up.

He remembers his childhood, when she was cold and distant, only showing kindness and love when they accomplished something. He likes her much better now. To answer her question, he simply shrugs, keeping his head on the table. He doesn’t particularly want to explain to his mother how lost and paralyzed he feels right now, how the world doesn’t make sense and he is terrified by that simple fact.

“Alec’s been moping around the apartment, and around the city, because he doesn’t know what to do with his life,” Izzy says simply and he directs a glare at her. “What, it’s true! You are having your midlife crisis at 25 and it’s worryingly disturbing.”

“I’m not moping.” He sounds petulant even to his own ears.

Jace, who is easily the most self absorbed person Alec knows, and that is said with all the love Alec has for his brother, looks at him with an unimpressed glance. “Dude, you came over twice this week and you cleaned my place up each time. It’s weird, and you’re definitely moping.”

Alec groans and sits back up. “I just don’t know what I want to do! I have two degrees I don’t like, I could be a half decent lawyer but I really, really don’t want to, and I don’t exactly want to work as a barista at a second grade coffeeshop.”

“Maybe you need to get away for a bit then, to figure out what you want to do on your own,” Luke speaks up from where he is sitting, an arm swung over Maryse, both of them casually leaning in each other’s space. “See something beyond the city. I have a cabin in the country side I barely ever use, I could give you the keys. You can stay there as long as you want to, and there is basically no one around.”

Alec has always lived in the city. He went to summer camp when he was thirteen, hated every second of it, and came back home early because he had caught a bug. Thus, he doesn’t have a stellar impression of the not-city world. But the idea of being away from New York is actually pretty tempting. He has been feeling overwhelmed by the city recently, like everyone is moving two steps ahead of him and he can never catch up. Maybe Luke is right, maybe he should go there, recharge a bit. It wouldn’t hurt, and if it doesn’t work, he can always come back early.

“Sure,” he nods, and catches his siblings’ surprised looks. Even Max has looked up from his phone. “That sounds nice.”

\---

As it turns out, when Luke said the countryside, he really meant it. The cabin is in the middle of nowhere. The cab Alec took from the airport has a hard time finding the correct path and they end up asking someone at the nearest town, who directs them about four miles further east.

It’s not just in the middle of nowhere, they drove past nowhere about ten miles ago and now they are somewhere else completely. Everything is so green and large, and there are people on horses like it’s totally natural in this day and age, and not something straight out of a western. Alec feels as if he stepped in a different world. He was reassured to know that, at least, there would be the WiFi at the cabin, and Luke has a Jeep there as well. A man named Ragnor Fell was supposed to drop the keys off before Alec got there.

“He might forget though,” Luke had warned when giving him the cabin’s keys. “He’s a bit of an odd guy, but he’ll help you out if you need anything.”

When they finally reach the cabin, Alec thinks he might cry of joy. It overlooks a vast expanse of green fields and trees, and he can see the corner of a lake a bit further away. September might not be the best month to swim in a lake, but if it gets hot, who knows. He has to admit, the place is as beautiful as Luke and Clary made it sound. Maia had also made a few noise of agreements, exchanging grins with her girlfriend, but Alec tried very hard to ignore those. Clary is basically his sister at this point, he definitely doesn’t need to know what the two women have been up to when they came here.

The cabin is small, but it still has two reasonably sized bedrooms, a large kitchen/living room area, and a small bathroom. There is also a balcony that overlooks a field of wild flowers.

Being here immediately fills him with a sense of peace that he hasn’t felt in a long time. It’s a bit strange, but the absolute silence, the lack of human presence beyond him, the calm that surrounds the place... it puts him at ease.

He sends a quick text to Izzy to let her know he made it, and then he goes to explore. He’s a bit exhausted after the travel, but he wants to know better where he is. He has some food for tonight, so he’ll only take the car tomorrow.

Walking around, he quickly realizes that what he had thought was wild flowers underneath the cabin’s balcony are actually native flowers to the area, blooming on their own and looking all more beautiful than any of the carefully arranged flowers in New York’s parks, but someone has clearly taken care of them. Even without knowing much about flowers, Alec can tell someone took great love and pride in caring for the flowers.

He walks to the lake and sees a few other cabins there, but it doesn’t look like there is anyone there. It is, after all, past the usual vacation time. It doesn’t bother him. There are too many people in New York. Sure, it’s home and he’s used to it after so many years, but there is something eerie and almost perfect in being alone. He’s never really had that. There was always the neighbors, the cars in the street, or simply strangers arguing loudly as they walked outside his windows. The quietness is freeing, completely liberating. He doesn’t know how he’ll feel about it tomorrow, but for now he remains convinced taking on Luke’s offer was the right choice.

He goes back to the cabin at nightfall, finding on the doorstep a letter and the keys to the Jeep that’s stationed in the attached garage. The letter is just a few words from Luke’s elusive friend Ragnor Fell, indicating where to go for food and other utilities. It’s useful, if nothing else.

Alec goes to sleep that night, and strangely, it takes him a little while to fall asleep. As much as the silence is a bliss, it remains strange and unfamiliar, especially at night. He goes to the balcony with a glass of water, hoping that it will put him at ease, and what he finds astonishes him.

The night is clear, and the sky is alight. The moon is high and basks the country in a soft cold light that gives everything a fairytale aspect. But what truly awes him are the stars. They see stars in New York, but they are never as bright and beautiful as here. They never give him the impression that, where he to rise just a little higher, he could touch them, cradle the burning orbs in his hands like one would cradle a precious gem. He goes back to his bedroom to grab the blanket and a pillow, and settles back on the balcony, eyes riveted to the stars. For the first time in a long time, only the beauty of the place that surrounds him fills him. There is nothing else in him, but admiration.

He’s half asleep when he hears a noise far away, and his eyes take a few seconds to find the source of it. On a hill at least a mile or so away, on the opposite side from where the lake is, a figure on a horse incorporates itself to the night sky. They are going incredibly fast, almost a blur in the night. Alec’s awed all over again. He falls asleep to that sight, and the stars fill his dreams.

\---

He wakes up with a crick in his neck and a swear. The sun rising is what wakes him up, but it’s the crack of dawn and he really, really wants to go back to bed. He staggers back to his bedroom and falls on the bed, sleeping there peacefully until a less demonic hour.

He wakes up again when his phone blares Izzy’s ringtone, a pop song she insisted he put on for her, to make sure he would always know who’s calling.

“Izzy,” he answers with a croaky voice, halfway into wanting to just hurl his phone through the window.

“Good morning big brother,” she sings in a happy voice.

It’s too early for this, way too early. He just wants to go back to sleep and enjoy at least a day of vacation. Is that too much to ask?

When he tells her this, she laughs. “Alec, I’m on my lunch break right now. It must be at least 10 am where you are. When was the last time you slept so much?”

He groans, sitting up. “I don’t know, I woke up at like 5 am and then went back to bed.”

“Never thought I would see the day where you sleep in willingly!”

“Izzy, is there a point to your call, or should I just hang up and go back to sleep right now?”

“You’re no fun,” he can imagine her pouting. “But fine, I’m just calling to make sure everything is okay.”

“I sent you a text yesterday.”

“Yeah, wonderful how much emotion ‘got there, am alright, ttyl’ can carry,” she counters dryly.

He refuses to feel any shame. “It said exactly what I needed it to say. But yes, I’m fine Iz. Did you burn down the apartment yet?”

It’s her turn to make an offended noise. “You left yesterday afternoon! Of course I haven’t burnt it!”

There is something in her voice though, something that tells him that there is more than what she says. “Simon came over with food, didn’t he.”

Simon is Clary’s best friend, and he has slowly migrated into their little family over the last year. He lives barely a block away from their apartment, and he is strangely always up to spend some time with Isabelle. A little less with her brother. Alec likes to call it a healthy dose of respect, and maybe some fear. Nothing too bad.

“He might have,” Izzy admits. “But Clary and Maia were there too! Jace couldn’t come, he’s busy with his new girlfriend or something. He was a bit vague on the details.”

Alec rolls his eyes. “Well, at least with Maia there, I know no one burnt anything. Or broke anything.”

“We are very careful!”

“Iz, I love you. You know that, I know that, the cat living in the trashcan down the building knows that. But I’ve seen you try to cook pasta without water. And that’s to be nice.”

She sputters a bit. “I’ve been doing better!”

“And I’m forever thankful for that. But while I’m gone, keep to Simon’s cooking or take out, will you?”

She grumbles a bit but relents. “Speaking of Simon…”

Alec braces himself for the worst.

“His lease is up at the end of the month and he hasn’t found a new place yet. Since you won’t be coming back before the end of November, I thought maybe he could stay with me? Pay your half of the rent and all that. The apartment feels weird when I’m alone, and even if we don’t need it, the half of the rent can’t hurt. And he wouldn’t go through your things. Not that you have that many…”

Izzy’s right, Alec has maybe six outfits in total, all of which he packed with him. All his books are law-related, and everything of importance is back at his mother’s place, or with him. And if it helps Izzy deal with being alone…

“Fine,” he agrees. “But I want it all in writing.”

Izzy’s grin is audible and she answers enthusiastically. “Yes, we will, don’t worry! Thanks Alec!”

He is unable to say no to her, has never been able to refuse his sister anything. She asks him about the cabin and where he is, so he answers this while getting up, making himself a coffee with the leftovers from Luke’s last trip here.

When they hang up, he goes to look at the Jeep, making sure it’s good to use before he risks himself on the rocky paths back to the town.

He locks the cabin and starts the Jeep, taking a few seconds to accommodate himself to the new vehicle. He hasn’t driven stick in a while, hasn’t driven at all to be honest. He’s maybe not the best driver out there, but he manages fine enough.

The drive to town is bumpy. He doesn’t know the way yet, getting lost a few times on the way, and it’s lunch time by the time he parks in the center of the little town.

It has a beautiful fountain, all white granite, showing a horse in motion with a rider on its back, both looking powerful and magnificent. For the first time since he was a teenager, Alec wants to draw, to paint this scenery with some watercolor and to imprint it in his mind. He settles for taking a picture before starting to walk, looking for a restaurant or a coffee shop, anywhere where he can buy something to eat and drink. After last night’s meager meal and his no breakfast morning, he is starving.

He finds a small restaurant a few meters away and sits down in terrace, looking around himself curiously. There aren’t too many people, but there are some tourists and a few locals. Everything feels old and is forged in iron, and despite the cars around town, it feels like this place is stuck in time. Alec already loves it.

He’s eating when a man on a horse passes next to the terrace. On his head is a large cowboy hat of a pristine cream color that let think that it’s much more a fashion accessory than an essential. Although, with the sun beating down on the land, it certainly serves as both.

The man is gorgeous. Alec gets a furtive glance at his face when he passes by, but he really sees him as he dismounts fluidly, clearly used to the exercise. His arms flex and show off some impressive muscle definition that ripples down his back. Alec’s throat feels a bit dry.

The rider then turns around and Alec almost chokes on his drink as he watches him. Scratch gorgeous, this man is beautiful. His skin is a golden brown and his eyes are a deep brown, but there are specks of gold Alec can see from a distance. He’s tall, probably a bit shorter than Alec but not by much, and when he walks, there is a sway in his hips that’s entrancing.

Alec is as mesmerized by the sight as he was by the stars last night.

The man walks up to him, looks him up and down, and smirks.

“Careful, pretty boy, or people are going to think you’ve got some naughty thoughts on your mind.” He doesn’t speak, he purrs.

Alec stammers but the man smirks again, winks, and then is gone. Alec is a bit frustrated with his own inability to flirt. He’s dated, has gone out, even had a couple of one night stands, but this’s mostly happens when he is slightly tipsy, just enough to let loose. A beautiful strangers with fingers showing chipped nail polish and some toughness in the palm, talking to him like that, out of the blue? He isn’t used to it.

His meal is disturbed by thoughts of the stranger. Alec wonders what his name is, why he decided to talk to him after catching him blatantly checking him out. And he really, really hope he is into men. Or would like some man into him, Alec really isn’t picky. Plus, with an ass like that...

Alec has to restrain his own thoughts before he loses complete control over his brain completely. It’s been way too long since he dated or went out, and even longer since he had sex. His mind is coming up with a hundred scenarios, but with his luck, Alec will probably never see the man again except from afar.

After lunch, he walks around town, looking to find food to buy to make his own meals, at least once a day. He doesn’t really mind the idea of eating out. His family isn’t known for their culinary talent, although he certainly isn’t the worst of them. He’s glad Luke and his mother found each other, because at least the other man knows how to cook, and well at that.

He wanders into a general store and, on impulse, picks up some paper, notebooks, watercolors, pencils and charcoals. He used to take lessons when he was younger and loved it, but besides the doodles in his margins, he hasn’t practiced in nearly seven years. He buys food and other necessities, as well as a cowboy hat, classic brown, that makes him laugh a bit to himself. The cashier, a young girl with dark skin and a delicate blue hijab covering her hair, rings him up and smiles lightly when he comments in the photographs hanging on the walls.

“I took them,” she says proudly. “The owner lets me display them here if they’re good enough. You can buy one, if you want.”

He smiles a bit and looks around, reading her name tag quickly. “What about that picture of the lake over there, Madzie? You think you can sell me that one?”

If he thoughts she had brightened up earlier, it’s nothing compared to right now. The teenager is beaming as she gets the picture and puts it in a protective wrapping. He insists on paying her more than she asks for, telling her the art is a very valuable thing, especially when it’s as beautiful as her pictures, and she looks shyly embarrassed, clearly not used to compliments about her art.

Alec leaves with everything he needed and more. He goes back to his car and notices that the stranger’s horse is nowhere in sight anymore, which disappoints him slightly. He would definitely find a better way to answer, if the beautiful man flirted with him again.

\---

Magnus is enjoying his lunch with Ragnor and Catarina at their favorite diner, when Madzie comes rushing in, looking excited out of her mind. Magnus’ niece is a wonder of the world, bright and kind, artistic and spirited. When she will go away to college in a few years, he is going to miss her deeply. He is brought back to the moment when she hurls herself at her mother’s arm and shakes it.

“Ummi, someone bought one of my photos!” She all but scream, and Magnus immediately sits up.

Madzie started taking pictures when she was seven years old and received a small digital camera for her birthday. Since then, she has moved on from small digital cameras to much bigger ones, and recently to an old film one she found on a trip to the city with some friends.

“Mashallah! Who was it? Was it Old Ronwy?”

“No Ummi! It was a new guy! Tall with black hair!”

Magnus’ interest is piqued again. That sounds like the stranger whose eyes were glued to him when he arrived earlier. The very handsome stranger. Magnus would have stayed to chat some more, but he had had errands to run and friends to meet. A shame, truly. With those eyes, and those long fingers…

“Earth to Magnus,” Catarina laughs as she waves a hand in his face, “what’s got into you?”

“Nothing, my dear,” he takes a sip and looks at Madzie. “Do tell us more darling, what wonderful piece of art did this stranger buy?”

As she rambles about it and he listens, he wonders if the man will be around. With what Madzie is saying, it sounds like he is, but then where is he staying? None of the lake cottages have been rented, and someone staying at the hotel wouldn’t buy those kind of things.

“Ah, you must have met Luke’s son then!” Ragnor nods while taking a sip of his wine.

Madzie frowns. “He didn’t look anything like Luke. He was super white.”

Magnus is equally confused. Luke has a son now? He knows his daughter Clary, used to take her on rides on the gentlest mares when she was young. He wasn’t aware she had a brother.

“Not his son properly, the son of the woman he is dating. Alec something. Lowood? Landwon? Something like. He’s staying over at Luke’s cabin for the next couple of months.”

Magnus does remember seeing Luke’s Jeep out today, but he hadn’t paid it any attention. His eyes had, after all, been busy somewhere else.

“And why is he staying there? That’s a long time for a city boy to stay around here.”

Ragnor gives his friend a shrewd look. “I didn’t ask. But you could always go and offer to give him some directions around, I heard some poor soul got lost on the way to Luke’s cabin yesterday. Probably that very same city boy, I would say.”

Magnus hums slightly. “Maybe I will.”

“Uncles,” Madzie says a bit petulantly, which Magnus guesses is quite fair. They did steal her spotlight for a few minutes. “Can we focus on the real important thing here? I sold my first photography! I’m a real pro now!”

They congratulate her again and she hugs them all, showing them the money with some pride before she runs off back to the store, to do her job before Shira Kogan gives her a hard time for leaving the store unattended. Especially considering that she just had her lunch and prayer break.

Magnus finishes his lunch with his friends, grinning a bit as he tells them about his encounter with Luke’s son. Ragnor, the old bugger, is scandalized, and shakes his head at Magnus’ antics. Cat only giggles and tells him to be careful. Careful about what, he doesn’t know. It’s not like he is going to fall in love with the stranger. Magnus doesn’t do love anymore, not since Camille broke him. What he does do is quick and easy sex with strangers he doesn’t have to see again, which is a bit difficult in a town as small as Cain’s Rock. But well, he’ll do with what he is given. And what he has been given right now is looking extremely promising.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! 
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy this chapter! I've edited the chapter count from 4 to 5, to avoid having a 10k chapters :) 
> 
> Don't hesitate to leave a comment or kudos, they make my day!

Alec is drawing. He tries not to think too hard about what he is doing, tries to not let his mind go into his hyper focus, into this small, obsessive part of himself that pushes him to always be perfect, to always be better. He just wants to draw, to have some fun like he used to when he was younger. He thought he would start small so he picked a flower in the field underneath the balcony and put it in a vase. He started with a small outline, not trying to make it as realistic as possible, but rather to render the feeling of fragility that’s emanating from the plant, but also its endurance and resilience. 

It’s not as hard as he thought it would be. The movements are a bit stunted, yes, and he grows a bit frustrated with himself at some points, but he is enjoying himself. Everything feels familiar; from the way he gives a careful, attentive eye to his subject, to how the tips of his fingers are slightly gray from touching the pencil lines, to the way the notebook feels on his lap. He loves it more than he remembers. 

There is a sound he doesn’t identify and he almost dismisses it, but there is a quick rasp on the cabin’s door right after. He can hear a voice calling out a “hello” from the other side of the cabin, so he stands up and puts his notebook on his chair with everything else bar the flower. He wonders who would come to see him. There are no immediate neighbors, and it’s quite a trek from the village. 

He has his answer as soon as he opens the door. The handsome man from town. His horse is tied to a branch of a tree at the end of Luke’s property, if Alec remembers correctly. 

“Can I help you?” He asks rather brusquely and doesn’t have time to feel ashamed of his own rudeness before the man smiles widely. 

“I rather believe you are the one in need of my help. A friend of mine, Ragnor Fell, told me you were in new in town and that you could use a guide to discover the area a bit. I would love to help you with that. If you’re willing that is.” 

The man — Alec should really get his name at some point — lifts his hat and the sun that shines on his face makes him even more beautiful, the gold in his eyes dancing. His hand rearranges his hair quickly and he smiles again, catching on again Alec’s eyes lingering on him. 

“Sure, um. Why not. And you are...?” 

“How rude of me!” The man grins and extends a hand. “Magnus Bane, pleasure to meet you.” 

Alec shakes his hand. “Right. Yeah, same, definitely a pleasure. I’m Alexander Lightwood. Well, just Alec really.” He manages a small smile at the end of his sentence. 

Magnus looks him up and down, and the light in his eyes as he looks back at Alec’s eyes is positively devilish. 

“Oh, I don’t think there is anything ‘just’ about you, Alexander,” he purrs his name, the letters rolling off his tongue in a tone that makes Alec _want_. 

They have barely met and talked, and Alec already wants the man so much it’s a bit insane. Magnus could very well just be friendly, there is nothing to say that’s how how he behaves with everyone. They don’t know each other after all. 

“Where have you already been then?” 

Alec shrugs a bit. “I’ve seen some of the town and I walked up to the lake last night, but that’s about it. I got here yesterday afternoon.” 

“That would explain why I haven’t seen your pretty face around much yet. I would definitely remember it.” 

Alec fights the urge to be embarrassed about Magnus complimenting him. “Yes, Luke suggested I took a long vacation here for a while. First time at Cain’s Rock for me. Though I’m sure you’ve seen Clary around before.” 

“Your sister? Yes, she’s an absolute delight.” 

Alec laughs a bit. “Not exactly how I would describe her but yeah, her. Although, you might have noticed, we don’t look much alike.” 

“Ragnor did mention you were Luke’s stepson, and not Clary’s immediate brother.” 

Alec invites Magnus inside while they discuss and the man follows him and he nods. “Luke and my mother got married last spring, and it’s easier to say Clary’s my sister than say step-sister. She’s family, in any case, you know?” 

Magnus nods and then sees the photography Alec bought that morning, a happy smile appearing on his face. “So you really are Madzie’s first customer!” 

“Oh, you know her? I’m surprised no one else has bought her pictures, they are beautiful. She has a lot of talent.” 

Magnus preens a bit. “She does. My niece is definitely the brightest kid around town.” 

“Family of hers?” 

Magnus shrugs but nods anyway. “Her mother is a very dear friend of mine, and I’m an honorary uncle. According to her mother, I spoil her too much. But if my niece wants to have a new lens to be able to capture animals in movement, who am I to stop her?” 

Alec laughs again at that. Magnus likes the sound of it, it’s low and comes from deep within Alexander’s body, and it shakes him slightly. It also has the nice advantage of illuminating his face with a special kind of joy. 

“So, what it is that you do around here?” 

Magnus must have asked the wrong question, because Alec’s light smiles disappears and he frowns instead, tensing. It’s clearly a well known stance, something Alec does quite a lot, because Magnus notices that, unlike before, he has stopped fidgeting. It looks like stress and severity are Alexander’s natural state. Magnus already wants to help with that. 

“Not much. Just vacationing a bit.” The answer is evasive, but he doesn’t want to pry, so he simply acknowledges it with a nod. 

“Ever been on a horse, Alexander?” 

The mildly skeptical and somewhat apprehensive look he receives tells him everything he needs to know. He finishes his glass of cold water and puts his hat back on. 

“Come then, if you’re to stay here for a little while, and I’m to show you around, you have to learn at some point!” 

Alec gives him a doubtful glance but doesn’t protest until he has locked the cabin. “You only have one horse right now though.” 

“Don’t worry, Juniper can carry us both back to my farm. We won’t gallop, to not jostle your poor unused body. Wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to it.” Magnus can’t help but smirk slightly as he says that. 

“Then I’ll just have to hold onto you tight, won’t I? I’m sure you’ll keep me safe while we ride.” 

Alec answers on the same flirty tone, not really believing himself, but there is a certain level of flirting and innuendos that a man can choose to ignore before realizing that yes, the very attractive man he is talking to is indeed flirting with him. He doesn’t want Magnus to think he isn’t interested, because he very much is. He’s just got no idea how to go at this, it’s been quite some time, and he really doesn’t know what Magnus expects. 

Magnus looks surprised but very pleased by the answer overall, which is very much to Alec’s liking. He grins a bit as they get near the horse and grips Alec’s hand. He has rough hands from years of labor, the calluses in his palm sliding over Alec’s smooth skin as he makes him extend his hand to the muzzle of the mare. 

“You have to let it get to know you and trust you, Alexander.” 

“And I do that by petting her … face?” 

“Her muzzle,” Magnus chuckles. “But yes, basically. She’ll associate you and your scent to good feelings, so she won’t panic when you get on her back.” 

Alec breathes deeply and try not to be afraid by the large teeth that peek through the large mouth of the horse. It’s a beautiful mare, he has to admit, with a deep black coat and some white speckles. She has intelligent eyes that follow his movements as he moves with Magnus to mount her. The saddle on her back is spacious, clearly made for comfortable travel and not speed, but there is a clear craftsmanship that went into it. Alec looks at Magnus, a bit lost. Apart from the rare occasional movie or show where characters mounted and dismounted horses, he has never really seen anyone use a horse, much less learned to do it on his own. 

“It’s not too hard,” Magnus says with a smile, “Here, you place your hands like this,” he carefully moves Alec’s hands where they should be. “And you put your foot in the stirrup there. And then you hoist yourself with your arm, swing your right leg on the other side, and that’s it! You’re tall, you will manage just fine.” 

Alec doubts that last statement a bit, but he isn’t about to say that to the other man. Instead, he follows the instructions and, with some Magnus’ help to keep his balance, he does manage to sit in the saddle. 

“Where will you sit?” 

Magnus’ eyes twinkle. “Why, in front of you, in the saddle as well! If you don’t mind removing your feet from the stirrups, that would be most appreciated.” 

When Magnus swings himself on the saddle, Alec can feel the difference in their techniques, Where he was clumsy and unexperienced, Magnus has the grace of a ballerina and the ease of someone who has done this for most of his life. His right leg passes over Juniper’s ears, since he would otherwise kick Alec, and when he takes the reins, he looks fully at ease. He’s a rider, through and through.

It’s only when Magnus gets Juniper to start moving that realization hits Alec. The two men are pressed against one another, Magnus’ ass directly against Alec’s crotch. It’s not uncomfortable as much as embarrassing, especially since he has to keep an arm around Magnus to keep himself steady, and he finds himself grinding slowly against Magnus, without any intention to do so. The road is bumpy, Juniper sometimes trotting, sometimes walking. 

In front of him, Magnus is smirking. This position is definitely very much to his liking, and he was right about his finger to dick ratio, Alexander is definitely a well gifted man. He had a very bright idea in offering Alec a ride. If Magnus gets what he wants, he’ll be a very lucky man, in Shaa Allah. 

It takes them a little over twenty minutes, during which they do not talk much more than Magnus pointing out interesting places, for them to reach Magnus’ farm. Magnus can see from here Raphael training their youngest stallion, and he smiles, leading Juniper towards them. It will be a good introduction, besides his own horse, for Alec to meet the younglings. 

“So, you have a horse farm?” Alec asks as he looks around. 

“Yes and no.” At his companion’s raised eyebrows, he continues, “we started as a sanctuary for old animals, mainly horses and dogs, some cats as well. But as we grew, I bought some younger horses, bred some, and so now we are a bit of a mix of both. The horses and other animals are pretty calm around each other, since the pets are pretty old and don’t have the same energy they had when young. Catarina, Madzie’s mother, is the local veterinarian and she comes to check up on them all at least twice a week, and I’ve got five employees helping out. The one doing the training is Raphael, he’s by far the most talented ones with the foals. He’s training MewTwo right now.”

“Am I hallucinating or is the horse named after a Pokemon?” 

Magnus’ deep sigh is so clearly dramatic and showy that Alec can’t help his laughter. 

“I assure you, I didn’t choose the name. But his mother is named Raikou, so Madzie wanted us to name him in the same fashion. And as I said-“ 

“You’re unable to say no to your niece.” 

Alec is still laughing, warm against him, and it makes him laugh as well. They stay like this, giggling like children on top of Juniper, while Raphael gives them an unimpressed look from the enclosure. MewTwo is prancing around and Raphael stops him with a hand on his neck, gripping back the reins and coming closer to where Magnus and Alec are still laughing. 

“Bane,” he says with a glare, “what are you doing here?” 

Magnus manages to calm down as he dismounts and turns to his employee. “I do own the place, might I remind you.” 

The dismounting is even less graceful than the mounting had been for Alec, and Magnus’ hands on his waist stabilizes him, although they do send shivers down his back. He would give a lot to keep being touched by the man. 

“And who’s the city guy you’re drooling all over?” 

“Please, I don’t drool.” Magnus ties Juniper’s reins to the enclosure, loose enough that she can still move around. “But this is Alexander, Luke’s stepson. He’s staying at the cabin for a few months, and I’m showing him around.” 

“Call me Alec,” he says, shaking Raphael’s hand. 

Raphael, clearly one to always have an unimpressed face on, doesn’t react much more than shaking his hand and then turning back to the foal. Magnus stops him before he can take it away and nods to Alec. 

“Come on pretty boy, come say hello.” 

Over the next hour, Magnus shows him everything, from the youngest of the foals, who is only a few weeks old, to the oldest stallion, a rescue named Starlight with crisscross scars on his back and flanks. Whenever they see an animal that was abused by its past owners, Magnus grows a bit quiet and an angry light appears in his eyes. Alec can’t imagine why someone would hurt an animal. 

Magnus’ property is beautiful. There is a large house with a large garden that Magnus explains he and his employees take care of, to have fresh vegetables and fruits. As far as Alec understands, they are mostly independent, but it’s handy to have the town only five miles away. A river passes at the end of the property, languid and tranquil. With the relatively magical company, Alec feels as if he has stepped in a fairytale. 

After the visit, they head back to the stables and Magnus leads him to a mare, explaining that they are calmer than the stallions for beginners. Alec watches carefully and listens to Magnus’ voice as he instructs him on how to equip the horse, correcting him when he gets it wrong, but allowing Alec to be in control most of the time. 

“Not too bad! You’re doing pretty good for someone who had never seen a horse before today.” Alec mock glares at him and Magnus snorts. “Alright, think you can get on her back on your own?” 

“If I fall and die in the floor because your horse trampled me, I will haunt you,” he answers dryly. 

Magnus chuckles. “Duly noted, Alexander. Try, and I’ll be right there for you if you can’t okay?” 

With a sigh, Alec nods and hoists himself up on the back of Seraphim, whose shiny white coat is startling against his dark jeans. He doesn’t have as much troubles as he believed he would, and he addresses a brilliant smile to Magnus, who is mounting Juniper again. 

“See, I knew you could do it!” 

Alec smiles still, basking in the man’s presence and his easy compliments. He likes being around Magnus Bane, and not just because the man is beautiful. In the last few hours, Alec has realized Magnus’ soul is even more beautiful than his appearance. When the horse owner talks about his rescue and adoption center, there is pride and contentment shining through his tone. With the foals, he is firm but delicate, and he has an expertise with the animals that speaks of years of work, of caring and listening. His employees are friendly and, even when hard at work, seem quite happy to work with him. 

“Thanks for showing me around," Alec says when they reach the top of a hill and they can see miles around. 

The river that goes through Magnus’ property continues to the lake, whose water shine under the slowly fading sun. The countryside is really beautiful, with its vast expanse of fields and trees and the luscious bands of green grass. Alec, who has always seen skyscrapers and too much cars, whose experience of nature up until then was confined to the parks and the one tragic camp experience, is awed by what he sees. It’s not empty space by any means, but it’s void of any disturbing life that would endanger the peace of the area. 

Magnus smiles softly at his reaction and keeps showing him around. He doesn’t have much the occasion to do this. He loves it here, but seeing this everyday makes him forget sometimes. He forgets how beautiful and awing of an experience it can be. The last person he had shown around like this had been Camille, over four years ago, and she hadn’t cared much for it. He shakes his head, pushing away thoughts of his ex-fiancée. She isn’t worth the trouble. 

Near the end, when they are nearing Alec’s cabin, Magnus smiles mischievously. 

“Hold on tight,” he says and then whistles, leaning over to lightly tap Seraphim’s croup.

The mare immediately starts galloping, a yelling Alec plastered to her mane. With loud laughter, Magnus urges Juniper on, and catches up on his companion quickly. By that time, Alec has stopped yelling, but he is holding the reins with a deathly grip, the leather pushing into his skin in a way that has to be uncomfortable. Magnus grins at him and Alec sends back a glare, but it’s half-hearted. Despite his tight grip, there is something exhilarated in his expression, something that talks of newly discovered wonders and childlike excitement. 

“Having fun, Alexander?” Magnus grins as he grabs the reins again, shushing the horse quickly. 

“You’re insane,” Alec laughs, eyes dancing under the fading sun. 

Magnus only laughs brightly until they reach the cabin. He stops first and helps Alec dismounts again. The other man stumbles a bit as he struggles to find his footing and Magnus catches him in his arms. They are plastered against one another, Magnus’ arms circling Alec’s torso, his breath dancing on the younger man’s neck. 

“Careful Alexander,” Magnus teases without letting go, “or I might think you’re falling for me.” 

Alec scoffs a bit and turns around, a small grin on his face as he steps away from Magnus’ hands. “Don’t flatter yourself too much, Bane.” 

“Oh I don’t think I do,” he answers, his eyes trailing up and down Alec’s body, “I think I flatter myself just enough.” 

Alec grins. “Maybe you do.” 

\---

As soon as he starts waking up the next day, Alec curses himself, the whole place, Magnus Bane and his entrancing eyes, and god themselves. His legs ache, and his ass hurts in a less than pleasant way. Who was the first person to see a horse and decide to ride it? Alec feels entitled to go find them and give them a piece of his mind. This may not be the worse pain that he has ever experienced, that has to go to the time Izzy and him were training together and she kicked him hard enough that he fell of the ring and broke his left arm, but it’s close enough that he just wants to give up on any plan he had for the day and stay in bed. Which isn’t that bad of an idea. He is, after all, in vacation. 

His brain rebels at the idea. He has never been one to laze about in bed once he is awake, even less so if there is no one to convince him to stay. If it were a golden skin man with laughing eyes and a teasing voice, he would definitely have no problem staying. But the man in question is already hard at work, and he is at least a couple of miles away, which does more to convince Alec to get up than to stay in bed. 

He wants to see Magnus again. The man is fascinating, truly, and there is a love for everything that surround him in his voice that doesn’t fail to enchant Alec. He supposes it’s much too soon to want that warmth to himself. And yet… Alec had already promised to Magnus that he would come by at some point in the day. The ride last night left him exhausted, but there had been something so freeing about being on Seraphim’s back and looking at the world this way. 

The countryside is much more charming than he had ever thought. Yes, the bugs are somewhat annoying.And he does miss his family already, misses Izzy’s presence and her loudness, and the way she brightens any room she walks into. It feels strange to live without her, to be completely alone with himself. Not fully unpleasant, but strange. Her absence is like a mosquito bite; itching if he starts to think about it, but better left alone. 

Rather than lose himself to the melancholy, he stands up with a groan and stumbles his way to the kitchen, to the coffee maker and another seat. 

It takes him longer than he will admit to himself to get ready, but when he manages, he feels less sore and better about himself than before. Especially after short bath he took. He finds back his pencils and notebook and sit back on the balcony. 

He draws for hours, ignoring the slight ache that grows in his hand at the long forgotten movement. He had loved drawing so much as a child, had loved painting and playing with the colors. He remembers dreaming of becoming an artist, celebrated and loved for his artwork. He would imagine himself traveling all around the world to show off his talent. 

Those dreams were drowned when he decided to follow in his parents’ footsteps and become a lawyer. He couldn’t distract himself with silly matters such as those anymore. He needed to focus on the law, bland and straightforward, a science rather than an art. 

Maybe now he can go back to this, to his first passion. He thinks of Clary when he realizes this, and he knows she would laugh herself silly knowing that him, Alexander Gideon Lightwood, is into arts. But then she would, as she always is, be supportive and help him as she can. Even if his mother and Luke only got together two years ago, they’ve known each other since their early teens. Clary has even briefly dated Isabelle when they were both in tenth grade, but they broke up quickly as they realized they were better off as friends. 

He looks down and realizes he has, without meaning to, been doodling, on the idyllic background of this place, a lone rider. He can tell that it’s meant to be Magnus, meant to be him on Juniper’s back. Grabbing his paints, Alec starts applying color to the drawing. It’s a bit clumsy, and he isn’t completely proud of everything, but he is doing his best after years without training. The watercolor soothes him and calms him down. There is nothing more in his mind than the strokes of the brush on the paper.

It’s well past lunch time when he stops drawing and admits to himself he is getting really hungry. He fixes himself with a sandwich and checks his phone, answering the few texts his family has sent him. 

On impulse, he grabs his notebook and his pencils as he heads out. Going to Magnus’ farm is more difficult with the Jeep than it had been the day before on Juniper’s back, but he manages to reach the large hill that overlooks the propriety from the east. It really is beautiful, even more so now that he can see it fully. He snaps a picture and sends it to Izzy, who he knows is still at the hospital at that hour. He leaves the Jeep up on the hill, not worried as he goes down towards the farm. Magnus had named it _Pandemonium_ because there was always some chaos, he had explained to Alec the day before, but also because Magnus’ first horse had been named Lucifer, and despite not following the same religion, it had seemed fitting to have this little haven of peace and chaos, where old pets came to live their last days peacefully, be named after his first horse. 

Raphael is the first to spot him. The younger man is back to training foals in the large enclosure, and he scowls at Alec. As far as he can tell, it’s without malice; Raphael doesn’t seem very fond of newcomers. 

“Hey Raphael,” he says casually. His elbows are resting on the top of a wooden barrier and one of the foal comes to knock it off with its muzzle, clearly looking to play. “Got any idea where Magnus is?” 

The horse trainer whistles and orders the foals back in position with kind severity before turning to Alec. “He’s in the back, with clients. Said you could wait for him by the garden though.” 

Alec nods and thanks him, but the other man is already back at work. Not wanting to disturb too much, Alec leaves him and finds his way to the garden. On the way, he sees Seraphim being carefully tended to by another of Magnus’ employees and it puts a small smile on his face. The white coat of the horse glimmers in the sunlight and she looks quite happy when water is poured down her back. He goes on to the garden and finds a seat at the edge of it. He has just drawn out his sketchbook when he notices something strange around the tomatoes. Instead of standing proud against the rod that’s supposed to be holding them, most are dropping, looking close to tearing. He has watched enough gardening show at 2 AM to know it shouldn’t be doing that. 

Looking around, he finds some string and a secateur, which he knows should be used to trim plants and not to cut strings, but he doesn’t want to sneak around more for scissors, so it’ll have to do. He gets to work on the garden, feeling a bit out of place, but he knows how to do it, knows that it’s not irreparable damage if he messes it up. Just like with drawing, the gardening makes him feel at ease. He remembers the school project when he was younger, when they had to plant trees and maintain a garden for half a year. He had really enjoyed it, despite the bugs that would wander up and down his arms. Maybe, he thinks as the sun hits the back of his neck, the countryside is not such a difficult place as he had always imagined. 

He is picking out weeds in between the tomato plants when he hears the sound of paper being rustled, and he turns to see Magnus looking at his sketchbook curiously. Alec feels a bit of shame rising in him and he moves back up and towards the chair quickly. 

“Don’t look at those,” he says with an embarrassed tone, “they really aren’t—“

“Alexander, did you draw those yourself? They are amazing!” Magnus looks up and the warmth in his eyes seems true enough, but Alec doesn’t want to trust it. 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to say this, I know they aren’t great.” 

Magnus looks almost offended as Alec implies that he is lying. “Alexander, the colors are amazing, I assure you. Everything looks great. I didn’t know you were an artist! I suppose it makes sense, what with you noticing Madzie’s pictures. It’s nice to have an artist in town, besides my niece.” 

Alec doesn’t really know what to do with the torrent of compliment. He wants to refute them, say that no, he isn’t an artist, but the man looks so honest and truthful Alec doesn’t have the heart to say so. Instead, he just mumbles an embarrassed thanks and gets back his art book, shoving it back into his bag quickly. 

“And thank you for taking care of the tomatoes! We’ve been meaning to do it for a little while, but we’ve all been pretty busy.”

“I hope I haven’t messed them up though, I haven’t really gardened in years…” 

Magnus goes to inspect and he turns around with a radiant smile. Alec really needs to work on keeping this crush under control. Although… Considering the previous day, it might not be too useful to do that. But still. Better careful with this than be reckless and ending up losing the only person who he has a connection with so far. 

Throughout the rest of the afternoon, Alec lands a hand with the tasks Magnus still has to do. They spend some time in the garden, trading stories of their own families. Magnus’ tales regularly include some religious holidays that he doesn’t know much about, so he ends up asking more about that as well. The man explains to him some things and Alec listens carefully. He feels a bit foolish at times for not knowing about it, but Magnus doesn’t seem bothered. 

“I could sense the catholic christian on you from a mile apart, pretty boy,” he winks when Alec voices his concerns. 

Alec laughs slightly at that. He has spent more Sunday mornings in church when he was younger than he cares to remember, and while he doesn’t really believe in God, he can’t really shake from his mind his uprising. He doesn’t let it stop him from learning more about Magnus though, or from telling Magnus about his family.

They are occupied by other things afterwards, and when Alec finally catches a moment to breathe and stop, the sun is already setting low. It’s a beautiful sight that lights the whole sky on a red and pink fire, but he can only focus on the hunger that agitates his stomach. When it growls loudly enough for Magnus to hear, the horseman chuckles. 

“I should let you go home to your food and your bed, Alexander. Can I count on seeing you tomorrow as well?” 

“I wouldn’t miss it.” Alec smiles and takes back his bag before hiking up the hill where he parked the Jeep. 

Magnus walks with him and leans into the open window with a grin. “Don’t make me wait as long tomorrow. It’s not very polite to make your date wait, although when you look this delicious, I’ll certainly make an exception.” 

Alec does _not_ blush, but it’s a near thing. Instead of answering, he says goodbye and drives off. He can’t be imagining this, can he?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> I'm back with a new chapter! I hope you'll like this one as well :) The rating will be going from T to M because of some explicit language. 
> 
> We see more of Magnus! And Izzy is back! 
> 
> Enjoy the chapter! Don't hesitate to leave a comment, or kudos!

Over the course of the next three weeks, they settle into a routine. Alec arrives around ten in the morning, except on days he needs to go into town shopping, he helps around the garden until they all have lunch. After this, he either sits under a tree to draw some more and tries to avoid turning into a human lobster, or he watches Raphael and Magnus training the horses. On weekends and some afternoons, Madzie joins them at the farm, and while she is a bit shy around Alec at first, she quickly opens up and they discuss art and photography. He shows her some pictures of the exhibitions he went to in New York, proudly presenting Clary’s work as well. She is, he finds, properly impressed by his step-sister’s artwork. Although Alec will deny it to his last breath, he is really proud of Clary and the way she is starting to make a name for herself on the local art scene. 

The best parts of his days are, without a single doubt, when he rides with Magnus. Most of the time, he rides Seraphim again, and it feels liberating to be on the back of the mare. He has learned how to handle himself properly on a horse now, mostly thanks to Magnus’ patience and kindness, but also somewhat thanks to Raphael’s advices, which lean towards the sarcastic comments and dry remarks side of advice. Even Madzie had some things to say. 

He has met her mothers, Catarina and Dot Loss-Rollins, and the ever so elusive Ragnor Fell the second week he came by the ranch. He saw quite a lot of Magnus’ mannerisms in Catarina’s own, which had reminded him of Magnus’ stories about spending Eid with her, gifting each other clothes and doing each other’s henna. She is beautiful, in a daunting way. Her dark skin shimmers in the light and her high cheekbones give her a regal look, but her smile is bright and she is easily the kindest woman he has met in a long time. Dot is sweet and kind, not one to speak much, but she has a love for her family and the people around her that Alec finds himself drawn to her. On the other hand, Ragnor is, as Luke put it, an odd fellow. Alec doesn’t mind it. He finds the older man’s dry wit and sharp teasing amusing and quite refreshing. They exchange a few rounds of spiked comments before Magnus separates them with a fond but exasperated look. It’s all good though. By the end of the day, he feels as if he has gained all of their blessing, although he can’t tell exactly to do what. To hang around Magnus and be his friend? Or have they guessed his less than pure intentions, the thoughts that wake him up at night and make him wrap a hand around his aching cock and imagine two golden brown eyes until he’s spent and can fall asleep again?

Without meaning to, he falls in love with Cain’s Rock and the surrounding area. _Pandemonium_ is still his favorite place to be, not only because it means seeing Magnus, but also because he loves spending time with the animals there. The horses are all amazing, but the old dogs that lay lazily in the shadow, and sometimes bring an old, chewed on tennis ball, begging to be played with? He adores them. The cats are likewise endearing, weaving themselves around his ankles or coming to sleep on his lap. In other words, Alec is enchanted by all the animal inhabitants of the farm. 

But the one thing he is truly, hopelessly, enamored with is Magnus. As the days pass, his infatuation for the man only grows and grows, moving past the physical aspect of noticing the mind-blowing beautifulness of Magnus Bane, and onto the life changing realization that passion and a good heart are what drives Magnus through his life. He is dedicated to his animals and farm, and he treats all of those around him with respect and kindness. Even when Alec messes up something, Magnus always takes the time to reexplain and make sure he understands how to do it again on his own. 

In the evening, they often go on a ride together, racing each other to the bottom of hills. Alec has only won a handful of times, with some he is quite certain Magnus let him win. They are on such an outing when Alec lets it slip that before coming here, he had never seen the stars quite so nicely. Magnus stops Juniper, tugging on the reins with firm delicateness, and looks at his companion, who stops as well.

“You’re joking, aren’t you? You aren’t seriously telling me you spent twenty years—“

“I’m twenty-five,” Alec corrects in a dry tone, amused at the other man’s antics already.

“—Twenty-five years without seeing the stars properly? That won’t do. I can’t allow this to go on.” 

Alec grins. “What do you offer to do about it then? I’ve been stargazing every night, isn’t that enough for you, mister Bane?” 

“Absolutely not. Watching the stars from your balcony doesn’t count. You have to go seek them out and discover their secrets at the darkest hours!” 

“Is that so?” 

Magnus nods decisively. “Yes. Tonight, you are staying at the ranch, and I’ll take you out to the best spot to stargaze. You’ll see, it’s amazing. You’ll never want to go back to the drab nights of New York City after this.” 

Alec doesn’t doubt that. He has already started doubting whether his life in New York could ever fulfill him again. He hasn’t let the thought voice itself fully in his mind. He’s too scared yet, worried about the enormity of what that would encompass. He was born in New York, grew up there, and his whole family is there. Being away from them on vacation is already hard enough. He misses the family lunches, the fact that anyone in his family could walk in Izzy's and his apartment, because of course they all have a key. He has always loved New York with a devotion that had no equal, but he is starting to realize that maybe he had loved the city so much only because it had provided him a safe haven. He had been shielded among the crowd, had not had to breathe and focus on himself. Now, he has all this time, all this space, and while it had been slightly disturbing at first, now he finds that there is nothing that can quite compare to the feeling of wandering in the vast immensity of the fields, losing himself in the nature without a care in the world. When he goes running in the morning, he always takes a different path, and he admires the landscape while his feet hit the dirt and stones. He likes it here, not with the encompassing and burning passion of the love he has for his city, but with the calm and peacefulness he can only link back to his childhood. 

“Alright,” he says to Magnus. “I’ll be waiting then.” 

\---

That evening, they only have a light dinner with the workers at the ranch. Raphael gives them a distrusting look, eyes slanting a bit as his eyes go back and forth between the two of them, but in the end he doesn’t say anything. They pack some food after dinner, Magnus explaining to Alec that the ride will take them about an hour, so they might be hungry again by then. 

“Better be ready than sorry,” he says simply, and Alec can’t help but agree. 

When they go, the night is already upon them, and the stars are bright above them. Alec twists his neck and looks at them, already quietly astonished. They aren’t just little white dots on the night sky here. Swirls of silvery points with blue and green, purple and pink, all dancing around and making the sky appears alive, breathing upon them. Alec wonders if, were he to stay here long enough, he would understand the whispers of the stars, the secrets they tell to the earth.

They talk softly while they ride, not galloping but trotting at a nice pace. Alec tells him about Izzy, letting the pride he feels at his sister’s accomplishments and career choice shine through. He talks about Jace, about Max and his mother. Luke, Clary and Maia also feature in his stories, and he knows his love for all of them shines through. He isn’t ashamed. He knows his family is at the core of his happiness and of his personality. Magnus looks at him softly while he talks, and it makes the feelings that Alec has been trying to ignore swell in his chest. 

After a little under an hour, they reach a thick smattering of woods, and Magnus turns to Alec with a small grin. 

“Do you trust me?” 

Alec frowns a bit. “What do you have planned now?” 

“Telling you would ruin the surprise! Answer the question, Alexander,” Magnus commands with a grin. 

Alec rolls his eyes but nods, “Fine. Yes, I trust you.” 

“Then close your eyes,” Magnus orders. “I’ll lead Seraphim for you, okay? I promise, nothing will happen to you.” 

So Alec obeys the order and holds onto the saddle as Magnus leads them through the trees. When he leans over, the scent of his perfume drafts over, and Alec restrains the desire to breathe in more fully and find the source of that scent. Alec can picture the crook of Magnus’ neck, tantalizing and beautiful. He can imagine it as if it was happening right in front of him. The desire and affection that swell up his chest are growing with each passing second, it seems. 

He feels Seraphim stops after a few minutes and he can hear the lazy stream of a river in the background. The air smells fresh and it’s a bit chilly, but he doesn’t really mind it either. He knows Magnus packed them blankets with the food, in case they were cold. It’s so very thoughtful, and so very Magnus. Alec can barely believe he gets to be friend with a man as wonderful as Magnus Bane. 

A hand touches his knee and he startles slightly. 

“Relax, Alexander. It’s just me,” Magnus says with a chuckle. “Do you think you can swing your leg on this side without opening your eyes? I don’t want to ruin the surprise.” 

Alec tries and, after two failed attempts, he manages to have both his legs hanging near where Magnus’ voice is coming from. Two hands carefully touch his waist, and Magnus helps him down gently. Regretfully, he lets go of Alec’s waist immediately, but he takes the man’s hand and leads him away from the horses carefully. They sit down together, and Magnus pushes at Alec’s shoulders until he lays down. 

“Open your eyes,” Magnus whispers close to his ear. “Look at the sky, Alexander.” 

Alec obeys again, breathing in slowly as his eyelids lift and the darkness that engulfed him disappears. The breath that he was taking in vanish into non-being as he looks at the stars. The sky is _alive_. The stars are not just the off-white distant points that can barely be seen amongst the thousand of lights of the city anymore. Here, the colors swirls and dance, purple and blue alive in the sky, dotted by brilliant lights that shivers. For the first time in his life, Alec truly understands what beauty means, what it can be and become. He has often admired people, yes, but people are nothing compared to this. This immensity that offers itself to mankind, that lets itself be viewed, it humbles him, makes him realize how small he truly is. 

The darkness around them seems a thousand times lighter when he looks at the earth again. He doesn’t know how long he was transfixed by the heavens, but he knows enough time has passed that Magnus’ eyes are closed. There is a soft look on the man’s face, peaceful and relaxed. 

\---

Magnus doesn’t really know why he took Alexander here. He hasn’t taken anyone here in years. He never took Camille here, the whole time they were dating. This was, at the time, the only place he could feel free. Looking up at the stars, forgetting who he was… 

Maybe he does know why he took Alexander here then. Besides his undeniable attraction and growing fondness for the man, there is something in Alexander that reminds him a bit of himself. The city man has a bit of a lost look, something screaming that he abandoned himself long ago and is trying desperately to find himself again. When Alexander talks of his siblings and friends, there is an overbearing love for them that seeps through his words, and that Magnus understands. 

He might have never had siblings, but Catarina and Ragnor might as well be. Cat’s mother had taken him in after his mother’s death and had raised him from age 7. Kareema was incredible and gentle, and she had introduced Magnus to their religion. Thanks to her, he had found faith. He wouldn’t have survived Camille without her either. 

So yes, Magnus understands the overwhelming love for family Alec has. It’s just one more thing that attracts him to the man. He wants to help him, he realizes. That’s exactly why he took him here. 

He watches as Alec discovers the stars, his eyes wide and exploring the cosmos that offers itself to them. The look of astonishment is sweet on him, makes him appear younger than he usually is. Magnus has some troubles believing that Alec is only 25 sometimes, despite his teasing, because there is always something so grave on Alec’s face whenever he is left to himself for too long. It’s not heartbreaking, no, but it does tugs at the strings of Magnus’ compassion. Seeing him like this, he really looks like the young man that he is, just barely halfway through his twenties, still discovering the world and its wonders.

Magnus looks at the stars for a little while as well, and then he closes his eyes, resting on the grass. It hasn’t rained in too long, the grass is dry underneath him. The thought registers in the back of his brain, but he doesn’t let it worry him just yet. It won’t stay beautiful and dry for long. October is fast coming. 

There is some movements next to him and he cracks an eye open lazily. Alexander is resting on an elbow besides him, watching him as intently as he had been watching the stars. It feels … intense. Intimate. Too much for the evening maybe. It’s too strong, and yet… 

“Thank you,” Alexander whispers. 

His words are already too loud in the night’s atmosphere, but Magnus could do with hearing his voice a thousand times more. It startles him slightly to realize this, more than anything else. Alec has only been here a little over three weeks, and yet Magnus already doesn’t want him to leave. It doesn’t scare him, it terrifies him. Magnus’ heart, traitorous vital organ he wishes he could rip out of his chest, thumps loudly in his chest. He is starting to _fall_ for Alexander. 

Which doesn’t make it easier when, with all the tenderness he can muster, Alec, extends a hand to him and touches his cheek, looking determinate. 

“May I?” His voice is sure, but there is a fear underlying. 

Magnus, despite his newfound realization and the overwhelming want to just scream in terror at the mere idea, nods. He is a bit hopeless, he knows. He falls too hard and hurts himself each time. Surely, Alec won’t be any different. 

The lips that closes on his are slightly chapped, a bit dry. The angle must be a bit painful for Alexander, who is leaning over Magnus, hands holding him up. And yet, it’s still perfect. Because it’s Alexander, because it’s Magnus, because it’s them, here. Under the stars, together. They are a tragedy that has yet to be written. That’s why, when Alec moves back slightly, Magnus doesn’t chase after his lips, despite the overwhelming desire to do so. Oh, yes. Magnus wants those lips again. He wants the man’s hands and torso on his own, he wants his heart and soul; worse, he wants to give it all as well. He wants to make himself fully vulnerable. He wants Alec to take him in his arms, cradle him and love him. He wants Alec like he has rarely wanted anything before. 

But he knows himself. He’ll just ruin it all if he tries. So he pushes Alexander away gently and gives him a poorly executed smile. 

“I’m sorry, Alec, but I don’t think we should.” Magnus pushes his mouth to form the words, despite the crestfallen look on the younger man’s face. “It’s not a good idea, for us to be involved like this. We can stay friends, though.” 

Alexander stands back up abruptly and nods. All the tension that had melted from his body is back, and maybe more. This chips at Magnus’ heart like a woodpecker steadily trying to open a tree. He has hurt Alexander, has let him believe that all his words, everything he said, was only jokes, or that he mistook his words for what he wanted to hear. It’s not what Magnus intended to do, but this pain Alec feels will fade in time. The pain of being with Magnus wouldn’t have. It’s better for Alec to hurt now rather than later. 

“Of course. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have.” Alec’s voice is almost robotic, completely neutral and devoid of emotion. Magnus hates it. 

“Alec, I didn’t mean—“ 

“Don’t,” he snaps when Magnus reaches out for his arm. “I understand, but please... don’t.” 

Now, Magnus is sure he is the one that looks crestfallen. His heart twists painfully and he wants to soothe the pain that’s clear in Alexander. But he can’t, so he nods simply. 

They go back to their horses, quiet and sullen. The ride back is uncomfortable and Magnus doesn’t dare say a word. He doesn’t think Alexander is angry, but the pain radiates off of him in waves. It’s best if they don’t talk. Maybe tomorrow, they will. 

\---

Alec doesn’t go to the ranch the next day. It’s a bit petty, he realizes, but he wants to keep himself from the anger he feels. None of it is directed at Magnus. He blames himself for being too naive. Of course Magnus couldn’t have been attracted to him. He should have seen the other man’s words for what they were: jokes and teasing. How could a man like Magnus Bane, a man as wonderful and beautiful, whose kindness was his greatest strength, could even simply like Alec? It wouldn’t make sense. Magnus deserves someone better, someone who knows how to take care of animals and of the land. Not some useless city slacker like Alec is, who doesn’t even know how to properly ride a horse. 

He throws open his computer, typing the password immediately, and it opens on his conversation with his siblings, Clary, Maia and, strangely enough, Simon. Alec likes the guy, but he can’t let it known. He’s got a reputation to keep. 

He thinks about telling them all about last night, but he doesn’t type the message. He already knows what they would all say. Jace would tell him to find someone else, Clary would say there is probably some way to woo Magnus, Izzy would agree and ask a thousand questions, Maia would send some bad memes but be overall supportive, and Simon would be awkwardly trying to comfort him. He doesn’t need all that. 

So he switches pages and pulls up job offers in New York. Being a lawyer will get him everywhere, and even if he doesn’t like it, he is pretty good. 

\---

Izzy is not exactly worried. At least, that’s not the word she would use. She is... interested in knowing why her oldest brother has not answered his messages for the last three days straight, and why he hasn’t sent any updates on that Magnus he kept gushing about. Last Izzy heard, they were going on a stargazing expedition. Very romantic, but has anything happened? Did Alec fall into a hole and has been stuck there for days? What’s going on with him? 

She admits to herself on the fifth day without contact that she’s worried. She does what any good sister would do, she calls. When he doesn’t answer, she tries to tell herself that there is nothing wrong. He might be busy. She calls back later. Still nothing. 

She called back five more times throughout the day. The phone stops ringing at the third one. So either Alec’s sending her directly to voicemail, or his phone is dead. 

The next day, she tries again, and again, voicemail directly. So, she does what any reasonably worried sister would do. She calls her superior, tells her she has a family emergency and won’t be available for the next four days, but that she’ll pull extra shifts to make up for all of it. And then she makes a call to Luke. 

Six hours later, she’s driving towards Cain’s Rock, all her worry bundled so tightly in her chest she hates it. If Alec’s fine, she swears she’ll kill him. 

The town she arrives at is so small she wants to call it a village. She feels so out of place, but she’s Isabelle Lightwood, daughter of Maryse Lightwood, and if there is one thing she took from her mother, it’s her reckless love for her family. 

Grabbing her bag from the seat next to her, she steps out of the car. She’s parked next to a fountain, and she isn’t exactly certain that this is actually an authorized parking space, but to hell with it. 

She walks around, trying to locate something she recognizes from both Luke and Alec’s descriptions. With an internal sigh of relief, she finds the general store where he told her he bought pictures. She hopes that the girl he told her about will be inside, since they seem to have sympathized through Magnus Bane. 

She has a faint feeling that Alec has not been answering his phone because of that man exactly. Something must have happened on that night. Either something extremely good, to a point which Alec completely forgot his family, which she doubts, or extremely bad. Knowing her brother, she’s rather convinced something mildly inconvenient happened and he let it go to his head and overreacted. It may be a family trait, she’s willing to admit that. 

As she enters the store, she realizes she isn’t the only costumer in it. Two women, one taller than the other with a gold pink hijab, the other slightly shorter with hair drawn up in a braided bun, are talking — scolding?— a man. It takes only two seconds for her to recognize the man from her brother’s numerous descriptions. With the golden skin, the masterfully applied eyeliner, the well formed muscles and the cream colored cowboy hat, it can only be Magnus Bane. 

“Hey,” she starts toward them, and they all turn. Maybe her voice was stronger than she intended. “Magnus Bane, that’s you right?” 

Magnus’ eyebrows move up. His confusion is clear on his face. The two women stand in front of him, and the smaller one has her arms crossed while the one wearing the hijab frowns at her. 

“Do you have any idea where my idiot of a brother is?” 

Confusion becomes even more pronounced on Magnus' face. “I’m sorry miss, do we know one another?” 

Izzy almost hits her own forehead as she strides forward and extends a hand. “Right sorry, I’m Isabelle Lightwood but you can call me Izzy.” 

The two women shake her hand, introducing themselves as Dot and Catarina Loss-Rollins. Magnus looks stunned and shakes her hand when she extends it. 

“Isabelle... Alexander’s sister?” 

“The one and only! Well, there is Clary now too, but you’ve met her, haven’t you? So that leaves me.” 

“Right... what do you mean, where is your brother? I haven’t seen Alexander in six days, and when I went by his cabin three days ago, it was closed and the Jeep was parked. I assumed he went back to the city, to you actually. He hasn’t?” 

Izzy forces herself to remain calm. She’s going to be a doctor, she can’t lose it at every emergency. She has two days to find her brother. In her whole life, she has never seen Alec do anything reckless or mildly life threatening. What has he done to himself now?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! 
> 
> Back with a new chapter already! The next one will be the last one, so this one is slightly shorter than usual. 
> 
> Here are the hints of magical realism promised in the tags, but it's nothing overwhelming. 
> 
> On the story side, we get more Izzy, more Magnus, and Alec is back!
> 
> Enjoy the chapter! Leave a comment if you want, or kudos :)

Alec, contrary to popular belief, is not dead in a ditch or crying out for help in the middle of the woods. He is, however, lost, and made the mistake of leaving his phone inside Luke’s cabin. When he left, he hadn’t intended on not going back. He had taken a wrong turn in the deep woods beyond the lake, and he hadn’t found his way back until he had chanced upon a small cottage. It had been a blessing, four days ago. 

The man who lives there introduced himself as Cain, not giving a last name, even after Alec had introduced himself fully. The cottage is in shambles, falling apart bits by bits, and Cain seems content to let that happen. Alec has no real idea how old he is, there is something ethereal and eternal about him, but he can guess, given the state of the space, that he is quite a fair deal older. He is also not much of a talker. In the mornings, he puts food on the table before leaving, only coming back at sundown. And Alec, having no idea of where he is, how to go back outside the woods, stays. 

He finds himself keeping busy by fixing the house. On the first day, after Cain left, he tried doing nothing, but his mind kept turning to Magnus, to his possible life as a lawyer, to everything in his life, so he had started fixing the walls from the outside. Strangely, he had found every tools he needed easily. It’s as if Cain has been indeed planning on taking care of the house, but hasn’t yet. 

The outer walls were falling apart slowly. There were cracks in between the stones that resulted in drafting winds inside the house, and Alec had been frozen to his bones throughout the night. He doesn’t have any experience in fixing walls, but he watched Magnus’ men fix one of the old stone walls that surrounded the property. Doing the fixing himself couldn’t be too hard, could it? He realizes by the end of the first afternoon that he was wrong, but still, he enjoys himself. It’s a bit like painting, he thinks with amusement. It can be hard, but it’s rewarding. 

Over the next two days, Alec fixes the house, little by little. It’s nothing much, but the warmth that had left his heart after Magnus had rejected him starts again. In between getting sprayed with water as he fixes the leaking kitchen sink and getting old leaves stuck to his socks while cleaning the roof, he forgets about the pain, the self hatred, and everything he had thought through the night. He comes to appreciate the work he does with his hands. He likes himself better here, in the countryside, than he ever did in New York. Alec in New York is stuck up, has difficulties opening up to people, is completely dreamless. Alec in Cain’s Rock is free, happy and laughing. He is Magnus fondly saying his full name, a man who still doesn’t fully know where he is going, but has stopped caring to the point of destruction. 

He has a choice to make, he realizes on the fourth morning as Cain gets ready to leave again. Either he stays here, in this cabin, with this stranger who barely acknowledges his presence, or he goes back to Luke’s cabin, and makes himself anew.

“Cain,” he says right as the older man reaches for the door. “Could you show me how to leave the woods?” 

A wry grin appears on Cain’s face, showing sharp teeth. Alec must be imagined things, because for an instant, he could have sworn Cain’s eyes had glittered a pure, sky blue. 

“I thought you would never ask, boy.” 

\---

Astaghfirullah, Magnus might lose it if they don’t find Alexander very soon, and he isn’t free from his very lovely, very worried, younger sister. He is sure he would adore Isabelle in other circumstances. She is smart, strong willed, and fearless. Madzie is a bit in awe in front of her as the Lightwood woman grabs a map of the area and starts looking at it intently. Magnus may be a bit severe in his judgement. He knows how strong the bond between the siblings is. However, Isabelle’s cold, anxious demeanor is starting to irritate him. Especially now that he has told her about his disagreement with her brother, glossing over the more private details, and she stared at him in astonishment. 

“Magnus,” Cat draws him away from his thoughts with a snap of her fingers. “You alright in there? Ragnor is coming back, there was still no one at Luke’s cabin.”

He feels some guilt welling up in him, some latent wish of having explained himself better, of having told Alexander why it wasn’t a good idea. If anything has happened to Alexander… He can’t imagine it. Not now, not ever. Izzy clearly can’t either, because she gets agitated again. Maybe he misjudged her, he thinks as she talks with Madzie and Dot about local spots where Alec could be stuck in. 

“I’m fine,” he answers Cat distractedly. “We should check the woods by—“ 

The bell above the door chimes, interrupting him, and he turns his head towards the door. Before he can process what he is seeing, Isabelle shouts something vaguely resembling to her brother’s name and runs towards the person who just stepped in. Her speed is almost inhuman, and when Alexander, because at that moment Magnus does recognize him, catches her, there is an audible breath taken in.

“Izzy?” 

His voice is still as delightful as Magnus remembers, so deep and authoritative, even in his surprise. It sends shivers down Magnus’ spine. There is something… different about Alec. He can’t put his finger on it exactly, but the man stands straighter, with more confidence. His eyes have lost that edge of hopelessness, Magnus realizes. He looks like a man who knows what he wants, and will do anything to get it. He looks like the man Magnus knew he could be. He also looks exhausted. 

“You’re home, alhamdulillah!” Madzie also launches herself at him and hugs him quickly. “We were all so worried!” 

Cat and Dot also go to talk with him, ask questions and make sure he is alright. But Magnus stays frozen on the place. He isn’t sure he would be welcome. After what happened between them, he would understand if Alec didn’t want to see him again. After all, he led him on for a month, made every single innuendo possible and imaginable, and when things started to move in that direction… he chickened out. He made excuses and fled. And now... 

“Magnus,” Alec calls out to him as he is starting to moves backward slowly, aiming for the backdoor 

He stops with a wince and looks at Alexander. The man’s smiling, arms around Izzy, and his eyes dance slightly with mirth. 

“It’s good to see you.” 

Those few little words shake Magnus to his core. Alec doesn’t resent him? He doesn’t want to be as far away as possible? Magnus doesn’t know what to do with this. The sincerity of Alec’s tone leave no choice of doubting him, and his eyes are steadily planted in Magnus’. 

“It’s good to see you too.” Magnus’ answer feels plain and dry, but his throat won’t allow any other words. 

It feels like a small miracle. Alexander is still here. He is smiling and talking with his sister now, but he makes sure to address the other women in the room. 

Alexander is not the same as he was when he kissed Magnus softly. And Magnus doesn’t know if he can handle the change. Because this Alexander, so sure of himself, who stands tall and proud, and who meets his eyes every few seconds, is infinitely more dangerous than the lost man he was before.

\---

“So, where were you?” Izzy asks as she steals his fries. 

Alec grins a bit at the familiar gesture. They’re at the diner in town, Magnus, the Loss-Rollins family and Ragnor Fell sitting with them. They make a lively table, and while Alec has until now refused to answer the numerous questions, now that everyone has some food, he might as well talk.

“I met a strange man in the woods around the lake,” he says while eating some fries as well, and she interrupts him before he can continue. 

“Oh god, please tell me you didn’t have sex with a strange man in the woods.” 

“Izzy!” He sends a worried look to Madzie, who shrugs, and then to her mothers. 

“She’s fifteen,” Dot smiles. “It’s not an offensive subject. Though, if Isabelle is right, please spare us the details.” 

Alec resists the urge to drop his head on the table and bang it until he passes out. 

“No, I didn’t have sex with a strange man for four days, Isabelle, please don’t say things like that again. I have standards, and Cain certainly didn’t cut any of those.” 

Multiple reactions occur at the same time when he says the name. Ragnor, who had been drinking white wine, chokes on his gulp while Madzie startles slightly. Cat and Dot grip each other’s hands, exchanging a long look. And Magnus looks at him like he is crazy. Which, after what happened, Alec isn’t fully ready to say it’s not a possibility. 

“What’s with you guys?” Izzy’s eyebrows shot up at the reaction and she now give them a strange look of her own.

“Well, Cain is a sort of ... local legend, I suppose,” Ragnor says once he has recovered. “He is the supposed founder of the town. It’s even named Cain’s Rock, after him. I’m sure you two will have noticed that we aren’t exactly your typical small country town, and most attributes that to Cain. They say he protects from harm those living here and around since the first settlement. He’s said to have all sorts of magical powers, and to live somewhere in the woods. Although, we’ve all explored the woods many times, and we’ve never found him.” 

“I think I might have,” Alec says after a few seconds of silence. “He was definitely a weird dude, but he wasn’t really bad. He kept me fed and allowed me to stay at his place. And today...” 

Alec grows silent then. He feels strange, like he is forgetting something important. He knows it has something to do with Cain, something to do with doors and New York and the lake, but the more he thinks about it, the less he remembers. His memories are slowly leaving him, trailing out of him in a small but steady flow. 

He shakes his head quickly, dislodging the thoughts. “He just showed me the way out of the woods. Made it looks really easy, which was a bit infuriating, considering I got lost for a full day down there, but I was back out after an hour. I went home then, took the Jeep, and was going to get myself food for a meal at the store.” 

Izzy frowns a bit next to him, as if she senses the holes in his story. He would like to tell her more, if only he could remember. Everyone at the table has a concerned look, except for Madzie, who looks fascinated by the idea of living in the woods. They stay silent for a little while, munching on their food, before Izzy shakes the awkwardness by asking Madzie about her photos. This lightens up the mood, and Alec even ends up showing some of his own drawings. He carefully excludes the ones of Magnus, not wanting her to mention it while the man is seated with them. 

At the end of their meal, they all go their separate ways. Madzie hugs Alec again and makes him promise to go on a photography expedition the next week, while Cat scolds him gently about getting lost in the woods. Magnus hesitates a bit before extending a hand. Alec shakes it with a gentle smile. 

Izzy’s car follows him on the sinuous roads until they reach the cabin, and then his sister is back to the fierce, loving and worried woman he knows. He doesn’t have time to reach the steps of the cabin before she wraps herself in his arms and hugs him tightly again. 

“I was worried Alec,” she whispers softly, her voice trembling a bit. “I know it wasn’t your fault, but I thought something had happened to you.” 

He hugs her back tightly and kisses the top of her head. Ever since Max’s accident a few years ago, when they all feared they would lose him as he stayed in a coma for almost a week, they all have a deep fear of losing each other. It’s one of the reasons why they make sure to all text and call often, and why the family lunches are so important to them. Alec knows that if Izzy had not answered for days, he would have been scared beyond reason. 

“I’m sorry Izzy.” 

They stay like this, hugging each other under the rising moon.

\---

Isabelle wakes up the next morning in an unfamiliar bed, hearing the sounds of someone in a kitchen. She wants to go back to sleep, wants to forget the world a bit more, but the light streaming in from the windows is too strong for her to fall back in her dreams. Begrudgingly, she gets up, and that’s when it all comes rushing back to her. Alec, his story, his disappearance… She dresses quickly and steps out of the bedroom. Her brother is in the kitchen, frowning at a pan.

“Good morning,” she yawns as she speaks and stretches her arms. “What are you doing?” 

“I was aiming for scrambled eggs but I think I messed them up.” He gives her a sideway hug when she comes to seek it and smiles. “Good morning Iz.” 

The eggs in the pan are looking grim, and she pulls a face that has him laughing. 

“No eggs then. We’ll go grocery shopping after coffee, alright?” 

She nods and takes the cup of coffee he extends to her. They go to sit on the balcony, and she understands what Alec meant each time he said it was a magical place. It’s truly beautiful, straight out of a fairytale. It disturbs her a bit to not hear the incessant noise of New York, the very human way of life. Here, nature is clearly the master, and the noises she can hear are birds and wind, but no car. 

She enjoys the silence as she drinks her cup before she can’t stop herself. “What really happened while you were gone, Alec?” 

Since she saw him again, she has noticed how different he looks. Her brother has always been a confident man, but now there is an unshakable certainty around him that she doesn’t recognize. It makes her wonder what else she has missed along the years. It feels so natural and yet so jarring to see him like this. Like he is finally who he has wanted to be, and she has been blind to it for years. 

He clears his throat and then he starts talking. He tells her about the stars, Magnus, their kiss. He talks of the woods, of being lost, both in his mind and physically. He recounts how he spend four days fixing Cain’s house, how it gave him the peace he craved. He talks for an hour without a break. She doesn’t interrupt him once. 

How had she missed this? The light that shines in Alec’s eyes as he tells her about his drawings, about Magnus’ farm and all the animals, it’s one of such a bright love and joy. 

When he is done, she reaches over and takes his hand gently. Her smile is full of tears, she knows, but they are all happy tears. She’s so happy for him, and when she tells him so, he chuckles a bit. 

“I’m telling you I’m staying here, and you’re happy? Do you want to get rid of me so badly?” He jokes, but they both know he doesn’t mean it. 

“No,” she answers seriously. “I’m telling you that I can see how happy being here makes you. When you were studying law, I thought you were going to force yourself to be miserable your whole life, but now you are doing something for yourself. And I’m glad.” 

She smiles again, and the tears spill over her cheeks. “If you don’t come to visit though, I’m going to come back here and kick your ass.” 

They both laugh and she hugs him. She doesn’t mention Magnus, who had looked at her brother like he had hung the moon and all the stars in the sky. She can see that, even with how hard Alec has pushed down his feelings, he still has an unbreakable affection for the man. As they talk more and she tells him about how everyone is doing, she quietly hopes that they’ll find each other. They each look at the other with longing, and despite appearances, Isabelle is a sucker for a good romance. Those two certainly make for an interesting story.

\---

After Izzy’s departure, the cabin feels empty again. Alec doesn’t let himself sit idle for more than a day. On the second morning, he drives to Magnus’ ranch, parks the jeep underneath a great oak tree, and walks down until he reaches Magnus, who is examining a mare.

He watches him from a bit apart until his examination is over, and then he comes closer and smiles, greeting him cheerily. Magnus doesn’t startle, but he tenses up a bit at the sound before relaxing and turning around. 

“Alexander, what a surprise! I take it your lovely sister is gone?” He wipes his hands on his jean and stands back up properly. 

Alec nods. “Izzy went back to New York yesterday afternoon. I was thinking, since I’m staying here for at least two more months, if not more, do you have any idea where I could find some work? I love spending my days drawing and chatting up with you, but I’m starting to be really restless.” 

Magnus thinks for a few seconds before speaking quietly. “You can ask around the farms, but otherwise… The two seasonal employees I have during the summer left three days ago, and Raphael was telling me we need to hire someone else full time. I know you don’t have much experience, but teaching you wouldn’t be an issue, and the horses already know you pretty well at this point. There is also the—“ 

Alec interrupts him before he can ramble more by putting a hand on his bicep. “I would love to, Magnus.” 

Alec makes a conscious effort not to notice the firm muscle underneath his hand. Since the night they kissed, he hasn’t been so close to Magnus, and despite his efforts to put his own affection in the past, to move on from it and not make Magnus any more uncomfortable, he is having a hard time when the other man looks this beautiful. 

Magnus is delighted at Alec’s answer, and they talk about more details. Alec refuses the offer to stay at the ranch, saying he doesn’t mind the drive with the Jeep, and makes Magnus pay him less in exchange for allowing him to pick fruits and vegetables in the garden as he wants. 

That’s how Alec starts working at Magnus’ ranch. After the first few days, he settles quickly into a routine. It exhausts him most days, and learning how to care for horses and animals is not an easy task by any mean, but he loves it. He calls Izzy every morning as he drives to the ranch, and they exchange briefly about their respective previous days. On Sundays, he calls his mother and cook while they have family lunch. Maia and Clary ask him about Magnus once, but not again, and he suspects Izzy has something to do with it. 

In December, a week before Christmas, he is in the stables with Raphael, making sure they are all well sheltered for the upcoming snow. The area around Cain’s Rock stays quite warm up until mid October, at which point it drops steadily, until the first snow hits in December. Alec enjoys it. 

“Alexander, are you in there?” Magnus’ voice resonates from outside Seraphim’s box while Alec is finishing his check up on the mare. She is expecting a foal for next August, and even if it’s still early, he likes to check up on her. He is attached to her.

“Yeah, I’ll be right out!” 

True to his words, not two minutes later he is pulling the latch down on Seraphim’s box and smiles at Magnus warmly. They haven’t flirted ever since the starry night incident, but they are back to an easy friendship Alec wouldn’t lose for anything in the world. He isn’t quite blind to his own feelings as far as not realizing that he is steadily falling in love with the ranch owner, but he can keep it to himself. He values Magnus’ friendship too much. 

“What’s up?” Alec asks, wiping his hands carelessly on his jeans. His wardrobe has greatly expended since he arrived here, and he now owns more flannel and jeans he ever thought possible. 

“When I hired you, you told me you were going home for the end of December, right?” Magnus is holding a tablet, frowning a bit at it, and doesn’t look at Alec. 

Alec smiles at Magnus’ managerial position. “Yes, I want to spend Christmas and New Year’s with my family. I can come back early though, if you need me.” 

“Well, that’s where the problem is. You haven’t given me any dates of coming back. You haven’t even told me you were coming back.” 

Alec frowns now. He had assumed it was obvious he was staying. He has a job he loves here, and he has become friends with Raphael, if unwillingly for the other man. He spends evening with Madzie and her mothers as they hunt for places to have a good photoshoot. He even gets along with Ragnor, who rejoiced in finally having someone to discuss wines with. And there is Magnus here. Magnus who is, easily and without any effort of his own part, one of the main reasons he is staying. 

“Of course I’m staying,” Alec protests. “I love it here!” 

“But aren’t you missing your family?” 

“Well of course I do but—“ 

“We would all understand if you were to stay in New York with your family, Alexander. After all, you said that they are the most important—“ 

“You’re my family as well Magnus!” Alec doesn’t yell, but it’s close enough that, in her box, Seraphim gets agitated slightly. 

On a calmer voice, Alec continues. “Magnus, I love it here. All of you, from Raphael to Dot, with Ragnor and Cat and Madzie, you are all a new family to me. I can’t imagine my life without any of you in it. And especially not you.”

Magnus looked up when Alec raised his voice, and now he looks back at Alec with something in his eyes, something Alec desperately wants to call wonder. 

“I see. Then we’ll be waiting for you back here on the fifth?” 

Alec nods tersely. He revealed too much of his heart again, and now Magnus is going to withdraw from him. When Magnus leaves, Alec briefly sighs and puts his head on the nearest wall. 

“Are you done being a nuisance?” Raphael asks from the box of Dandelion, one of their youngest stallions with a golden coat. “Because there are five other boxes to check before we can do something else, so hurry up.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello folks! 
> 
> Sorry about this, this chapter was supposed to be posted yesterday, but real life has been kicking my ass (literally and figuratively) so it's a bit delayed. But it's finally here, the last chapter! This is bittersweet for me, especially knowing I probably won't come back to this AU. I have too many projects I'm working on at the moment, and I think I reached the best ending I could. 
> 
> To add to this, the lovely @ enkelimagnus, who is an amazing writer I have the luck to beta for (seriously, go read her fics, they are out of this world), made a moodboard / introductory pic for this fic. I'm putting it here and at the beginning of the first chapter as well. 
> 
> As always, don't hesitate to comment! Anything you write in comments is read and cherished forever.

As he ties Juniper’s reins to the fence outside Cat and Dot’s house, Magnus’ mind can’t help but replay Alexander’s words. What had he meant, saying that they were his family too? Had he meant that he cared for them, for him, in the same way he would for his siblings? That his feelings for him were strictly platonic? Magnus doesn’t want platonic with him. Magnus wants him, all of him, soul and body, mind and heart. In the last two months, rather than dying down, that want only sped up and spread out inside him.

Madzie opens the door when he knocks and she grins widely. “Assalamu alaikum, uncle Magnus!”

“Walaikum assalam darling.” He smiles and follows her inside, greeting in the same manner Cat and Dot. “Where is the old man?”

“The old man,” Ragnor says from the kitchen, “arrived early to help with dinner, because he is a proper guest.”

Magnus rolls his eyes but a fond smile is on his face as he greets his friend. They all settle down for dinner, and the conversation flows easily. It distracts Magnus from his previous worries. The food is amazing, as it always is, and he thanks both Dot and Cat for the meal. Ragnor makes a little affronted noise at that, protesting that he helped greatly, but Magnus grins and doesn’t say anything. Madzie animates the dinner, showing them her latest pictures, talking about her school. He is glad she seems to be enjoying herself, and he is happy to see that, despite the sometimes sullen mood prompt to any teenager, she remains the happy girl he has always known.

After dessert, Madzie goes off to her bedroom to sleep, and Magnus can feel something shift in the air.

“So,” Dot starts, “when are you going to bring Alec to one of our dinner? It’s about time, isn’t it?”

“Why would I bring him?” His confusion is evident and Cat puts down her tea cup on the table.

“Don’t tell me,” she starts almost severely, “that after three months of dancing around, you still haven’t asked him around yet? We thought you two were ‘good’!”

“We are,” Magnus defends himself. “He works at the ranch with me, we’re friends, that’s all there is!”

Catarina rolls her eyes, looking exasperated. “You take this one,” she tells her wife and Ragnor.

Dot smiles slightly and kisses her wife’s hand. “Magnus, Alec is crazy about you. You are crazy about him. Why aren’t you two going out?”

“He doesn’t try to hide any of his feelings for you,” Ragnor points out. “And you told us he kissed you. I thought that after his little stunt in the woods, you had started dating properly.”

“You thought wrong. And he doesn’t think about me that way.”

“Now you’re just saying nonsense,” Cat says exasperated.

“I’m not,” he protests. “He told me he considers me like family!”

Something passes between his friends, a shared bewilderment and disbelief. It makes him uneasy for the few seconds the silence lasts.

“Are you dumb?”

“How can you even believe he doesn’t like you!“

“It shouldn’t even be possible to be as obtuse as you are!”

The cacophony of his friends’ voice causes him to wince. “Don’t wake Madzie up!” He scolds them.

“Oh don’t you dare use my daughter as an excuse for your own stupidity, Magnus Bane.” Cat hits him with a pillow. “He told you you are family, and you thought he meant that he saw you like a brother?” She hits his arm again with the pillow. “Astaghfirullah, I’m going to kill you, you obtuse, idiotic man!”

“He compared me to you all! Even to Raphael! Are you saying Alexander is in love with all of us?” He doesn’t defend himself when she hits him a third time with the pillow.

“Because he thinks you don’t like him and he doesn’t want to lose you.” Dot points out as she takes back the pillow from her wife’s hand. “You haven’t ever mentioned the kiss again, isn’t it? And since you immediately told him no, I bet he thinks you don’t like him. I don’t know how he doesn’t, because you have been thirsting after him for the last three months...”

Magnus doesn’t even attempt to protest at that. What Dot is saying makes sense, if he tries to envision that Alexander might really want to be with him. But still... Why would anyone want to be with him?

“This is about Camille, isn’t it?” Ragnor’s question is calm and posed, but everyone in the room tenses when he says the name.

Camille had been Magnus’ first real love, when he was only 21 and she was 26. She was beautiful, smart, and she had known how to motivate him and push him further. She had also known where to hit to hurt him the most, to make him yield anything. She had played with his emotions and with him for three years until she had grown bored of Cain’s Rock, and of him. They had met in the nearest city after all, and the only thing she had ever done for him was moving to the farm. It had gone downhill from there. First, there had been the repeated absences at least two nights a week. Then the expenses. And then she had made him stop talking to Catarina and Ragnor. She had convinced him to sell _Pandemonium_. If it hadn’t been for Raphael, Magnus would have gone through with the deal, and he would have lost the one thing that kept him going day after day.

She had grown more vicious after that. Her verbal attacks were more frequent, and when she drank she would join physical violence to her usual verbal abuse. It had taken one more year before he had finally managed to free himself from her claws. Since then, he had sworn off romance and love. He had internalized every and each offer critiques, despite his desire to fight back against what she had done to him,

“Magnus, she was wrong. Whatever she said about you, she was wrong. You are a great person. We all love you terribly. And I’m sure the young mister Lightwood thinks just as much.”

Magnus stays speechless. It’s unlike Ragnor to talks of feelings like this. He is usually much more into staying away from that kind of affairs. Just like Cat might as well be his sister, Ragnor might as well be their older brother. He has always taken care of them and made sure they were alright, but he always managed to do it in a way that would infuriate them when they were younger. They rarely told each other they loved each other, it was more of an understanding between them. They stuck to each other’s side no matter what.

“Alexander doesn’t love me,” Magnus starts to protest again, “he just had a crush when he—“

“Stop saying dumb stuff, uncle Magnus,” comes the sleepy voice of Madzie as she walks downstairs. “Alec is totally into you. You should see how he looks at you all the time, it’s super gross. Plus his drawings are almost all of you.”

He stares at his niece gobsmacked. She can’t be right. He can’t have missed something his fifteen years old niece noticed. That’s now how this is supposed to work.

Madzie rolls her eyes and pulls a picture on her phone as she walks closer. “Here, look.”

On the screen is a drawing of himself. He looks serene and beautiful in that drawing, laying on grass with his eyes reflecting the light of the stars that are undoubtedly above him. What strikes him the most is how clearly love is written all over the drawing. There is something in the way his smile is drawn, something about his eyes maybe... He doesn’t really know what it is exactly that sends this impression, but it’s there nonetheless and only a fool would deny it. The person who painted this loves Magnus.

“Alec did that while you were busy with MewTwo and Ares the other day. I took a picture of it because it’s so beautiful. You can’t tell me you think he doesn’t like you, right?”

Magnus doesn’t say anything. He keeps looking at the picture. His eyes move to each details on the screen, and he knows this is how Alexander saw him that night, before they kissed. He wonders briefly what else he thought.

“You...” he hesitates in the words again, unsure of himself for the first time in a long time. “You may be right.”

\---

Alec is finishing walking Dandelion back to the stables after taking him through a few exercises in the training arena when Magnus calls out to him.

“Pretty boy!”

It startles him. Magnus hasn’t called him that since the day they kissed. Since then, it’s been strictly Alec, or Alexander. Nonetheless, he turns towards the sound. Magnus is holding Seraphim’s and Juniper’s reins and smiling shrewdly. He is also wrapped up in a thick coat and has a beanie on his head. The snow has started to fall, and while it’s not too cold, when they work outside it’s better to be careful.

“Want to go for a ride? Raphael says you haven’t taken your lunch break yet, we can ride to town and have our lunch together?”

Alec nods. He hasn’t ridden with Magnus for pleasure in a while now, and he is quite hungry. “I’ll put Dandelion back in his box and tell Raphael he needs to be brushed and cleaned and then I’m all yours.”

He doesn’t think anything of his reply before Magnus answers. “Oh I definitely hope so.”

He does a double take then, hardly believing his own ears. Magnus is grinning while holding the two horses, looking unapologetic and almost proud of himself. It sounded like Magnus was flirting, but it can’t be. Not after the failed kiss and the last two months of quiet friendship. It unsettled Alec a bit, this change in situation, but he attributes Magnus’ attitude to his good mood and walks the horse back to his box.

Two hours later, as they finish lunch, which Magnus insisted on paying, Alec can’t deny that either the other man has grown careless in his speech, or he is deliberately flirting with him. He pushes down the hope for the second option that’s rising in his chest. Last time, he ended up hurting both Magnus and himself; he doesn’t want that to happen again.

He stays quiet on the ride back, pondering on what happened during lunch. He had a great time, and he loved spending time with Magnus just like this. But was it meant to be just a friendly outing, or are all the winks and remarks really meant and this was a date? Alec is confused. He doesn’t know where to stand. Despite his desire to not get his hopes up, his heart goes through loops each time Magnus’ tone turns teasing, each time he catches the man’s eyes lingering on him. The burning need to know is maddening. And yet, he doesn’t ask. He doesn’t want to hear a second rejection from Magnus. He’ll take friendship over nothing.

Throughout the next three days, as Alec finishes setting up everything and gets ready to go back to New York for the first time in four months, Magnus keeps confusing him. With every fleeting touch, every teasing comment, he lights Alec’s heart on fire. How to allow his feelings to die out, when the man he has been loving silently for the last three months is starting to show interest? He wonders what he has done to endure this new torture.

The evening before his departure, he’s talking with Raphael about his flight, since the man also has family in New York, and had asked Alec to bring him a few things back. The request had surprised Alec, but he had agreed to it easily enough. Raphael and him may not always be joking around and laughing, but he likes to think they are still good friends, despite their differences. They are sitting on one of the fences, watching the horses as they move around in the freshly fallen snow.

“The only issue I have,” Alec complains, “is that I don’t know how to go to the airport in the morning. I mean, I could take the Jeep, but staying parked there for two weeks is going to be expensive.”

“Or you could ask Magnus,” Raphael answers, warming his hands around a cup of coffee.

“Magnus doesn’t have a car though. I’m not even sure he can drive.”

Raphael rolls his eyes at him. “Of course he can drive. It’s not because he would rather be on Juniper’s back that he doesn’t know how to drive. And for the car, he can just take your Jeep right? He’s been saying for days he needs to go to the city anyway. He usually borrows Ragnor’s car but I’m pretty sure the Jeep will do fine.”

Alec thinks on it, drinking his own cup as he watches the foals discovering the snow with wonder. It’s a sweet image, and with one hand he snaps a quick picture for his family. He’s already got all their Christmas gift packed up, although he still wants to buy more when he’ll be home. It’s strange to think of New York as home now. When he pictures home, he sees the ranch and everyone he has grow close to in Cain’s Rock. His family will always remain in his heart but he is so much better here.

“Thanks, I’ll go ask Magnus then.”

“Ask Magnus what?” Said man asks, leaning on the side of the fence with a grin. He’s holding a cup of tea, and even with his large jacket and beanie, he looks positively adorable. Alec wants to reach out and kiss him, feel those lips against his own again. Instead, he shrugs.

“Do you think you could drive me to the airport in the morning?”

Magnus beams. “Of course! We’ll take your Jeep I presume?” At Alec’s nod, he continues. “Then would you mind if I use it to go in the city after? There are a few things I need to check and that would avoid bothering our dreadful old grandpa Ragnor.”

At this, Alec can’t help it but laugh. He agrees to Magnus’ terms easily enough and looks back to the foals.

“They are really cute, aren’t they?” Magnus asks, without really expecting an answer. “Cyclope is really starting to be beautiful.”

Alec looks towards the foal and smiles softly. Named Cyclope for the large white spot with a smaller brown spot within, the foal is eight months old, and his coat is a shining brown that is startling against the background of white snow and green grass that peeks through. Cyclope is Alec’s favorite foal. He is intelligent and reactive, and, much like his mother Talys, is always demanding attention. It amuses Alec to no end.

That evening before leaving, he goes to say goodbye to the older animals. Some, he knows, won’t live to see the New Year. He says goodbye to each and every one of them, making sure to reassure them each time and checking that they all have everything they need. It breaks his heart a little, to know he won’t be there for the last days of the oldest ones. He knows Magnus will take good care of them and that Raphael will as well, but still. He takes much longer than he usually would, but he doesn’t mind that.

Magnus is waiting by the door when he turns, gazing at him with such tenderness Alec almost stops in his tracks. He meets the man’s eyes, and the tenderness doesn’t fall from the brown eyes. Alec wants to reach out to him, but he doesn’t. Instead, he stops in front of him and nods, a light smile tugging at his lips.

“You’re good with them,” Magnus states simply, but the compliment pleases Alec.

“I try my best. They are all such wonderful animals… They deserve love and care just as much as anyone else.”

Magnus stills a bit at those words and looks at the animals. “Just as much as anyone else…” He repeats the words to himself in an undertone. Something about them must resonates with him, because when he looks up, there is fierce determination in his eyes. He steps closer to Alec slowly, moving his head up slightly to make up for the two inch difference between them. He’s so close his breath makes Alec’s lips tingle. Alec doesn’t have the time to wonder what’s happening; in an instant, Magnus’ lips are on him, soft and pliable.

By instinct, and because he has wanted this for months, Alec kisses back. He puts a hand on the back of Magnus’ head, caressing the short hair as he deepens the kiss. Just like the first one, this one is tender and delicate. They stop, breathe in for a second or two, and their mouths find one another again. Alec forgets everything, forgets every worry and minutes spent wondering what Magnus’ feelings were. Kissing Magnus is the greatest thing in the world.

He remembers only a few minutes later, when he has Magnus pressed against the wall, when their kisses have turned hungry and passionate. He stops abruptly and steps back quickly.

“Magnus,” he has to stop a bit, catching his breath. “I can’t do this, I can’t just… I can’t be a one night stand or anything like that. I can’t do that.”

Magnus looks a bit astonished at that, and he struggles to find his words. “This isn’t, absolutely not, I—“

“I just can’t Magnus okay? I’ll… I’ll drive myself in the morning, don’t worry about it.”

On those words, he is gone, running out of the building with all the speed he can gather. Adrenaline is definitely a powerful thing, because he reaches his car in so little time it seems surreal. He drives off without looking backwards. His lips still tingle from the kiss.

\---

In the morning, he gets up before dawn to pack up some clothes quickly. He hasn’t slept much, too tormented by the memory of Magnus’ lips on his own. He texts Izzy, letting her know he’s leaving the cabin, and is locking the door when there is a rustle of leaves in the nearby clusters of trees. He tenses up immediately. A figure steps out of the shadows, and in the rising sun Alec first sees the cream colored hat.

Magnus looks determined as he walks closer, but also a bit tired. He’s on Juniper’s back and nods at Alec.

“I told you I would drive you,” he says in a calm voice.

Alec sighs. He had hoped to avoid the awkwardness, but it seems he has no such luck. He simply nods back and mutters a thanks. He throws his bag in the back of the car and settles himself in the driver’s seat. When Magnus gives him a strange look, he shrugs.

“I assumed you would want to ride Juniper back to the ranch first.”

Magnus seems a bit surprised by the thoughtfulness, but he nods his thanks anyway.

After they bring back Juniper to the ranch, they switch seats and Alec tries feigning sleep. Unfortunately for him, the bumpy ride in the rocky paths back to the main road ruin his attempts. They stay silent for a while still, and it’s not fully uncomfortable but there is a layer of awkwardness between them that had never been there before. When they hit the main road and the ride becomes smoother, Magnus turns his head towards him.

“I’ve never told you about Camille, have I?”

Alec frowns. He has heard the name mentioned a few times, by their friends when Magnus wasn’t around, but he has never asked. It had seemed too big of a subject, especially when the names had only been spoken with hatred or resentment.

“No,” he answers, “although I’ve heard some about her. You dated her a while back, right?”

Magnus nods, his hands gripping the steering wheel a bit tighter.

“I did. We met when I was 21. I already owned _Pandemonium_ back then, but we were only a refuge for old animals at the time. At first, when we lived apart and were only dating, everything was fine. She ended up moving with me after a year and a half of dating. I was ... crazy about her. She wasn’t about me. She hates living in the countryside, she disliked the horses, she couldn’t stand Cat and Dot, and much less Ragnor. I pushed those things aside, I thought she would come around. After a bit, she started pushing me into abandoning my faith. She made me drink alcohol, she told me to stop praying...”

Magnus sighs deeply, and Alec can hear him mutter a few things in Arabic under his breath. He stays silent, but he reaches for Magnus’ shoulder and squeezes it in gentle comfort. Over time, he has seen how important his religion is to Magnus. It’s his connection to his family and to the wider world. Just like Catarina and Madzie, Magnus is proud to be Muslim. It is an integral part of him. Alec can’t imagine him deviating from the sacred commands of Islam, and he doesn’t want to ever see it. Without it, Magnus would feel less like himself.

“She also started telling me that only her could love someone like me,” Magnus continues. “I will spare you all the details, but still, our relationship progressed. I proposed after three years. That’s when everything really went down. She tried to get me to sell _Pandemonium_.”

Alec can’t help himself, he gasps at this. She had tried to strip Magnus from everything that made him who he is.

“Of course, at first, I was reticent. But I loved her, so I yielded. Everyone around me tried to convince me to stop, but nothing worked. I was so convinced that I needed to do this for her, that if I hadn’t found her in bed with Sergei, one of my employees at the time, I would have gone through with it.”

“I’m glad you didn’t,” Alec says softly, allowing himself to make a small comment.

“And so am I. I broke everything off after that. But...” he hesitates here, glances at Alec quickly before focusing on the road again. “Since then, I’ve sworn off love and romance. I managed pretty well with only short term dating of only hook ups. And then... then you came barreling into my life, looking like a handsome angel and the man of my dreams.”

Alec bites his lips, his hands anxiously joined.

“At first I thought I could hook up with you and it would be fine. You would just be another hook up, I would go back to my life and you to yours, and that would be it. But I didn’t hook up with you immediately. I made it clear that I was interested, but you didn’t seem to want a hook up. And then...”

“Then I kissed you.” Alec murmurs, looking at the road.

“Then you kissed me,” Magnus agrees. “Do you know, I had just realized I had feelings for you. You’ve turned my world upside down, Alexander. I pushed you away, I thought you could never like me the way I desperately wanted you to. I convinced myself that, like Camille had told me over and over again, I was unlovable.”

There is a few seconds of silence as Magnus focuses on the road, determining which way to go at an intersection, and when he starts again, his voice is quiet again.

“When I thought you had left, I was heartbroken, but I told myself it was better. And then your sister comes barreling in, asking where you are. I’ve never been as frightened as when I realized you had been missing since I rejected you. I thought I had killed you, that you were dead or hurt because of me. And it may have been selfish, but I prayed to Allah endlessly for Him to bring you back, safe and sound. And He did. You came back. But still, I ignored my feelings. I told myself it was impossible, you could never love me.”

“I do though,” Alec admits in a soft voice. “I’ve loved you from the moment you taught me how to ride. I wanted you so badly Magnus, I was ready to take any scraps you would give me. I thought if your friendship was all I could have, then I would take that and be happy. But last night...”

Again, there is a long silence in the car. Alec’s heart is beating so loudly in his chest, it might as well starts running alongside the car.

“You unlocked something in me, Alexander.” Magnus looks at him briefly. “I love you. I’ve been in love with you for months now. I thought I didn’t deserve you, that you were too good for me, that I was too broken for you.”

“What changed your mind then?” Alec’s hopes are quickly rising, and this time he is pretty sure he must be dreaming. Magnus didn’t just tell him he loved him. That can only happen in dreams and in his wildest fantasies.

“You did, actually. Well, one of your drawings did.” Alec blushes a bit at that, afraid of guessing which drawing it is, and when Magnus continues, he wants to sink in his seat. “Madzie showed me a drawing you made of me. It was me under the stars and I realized… There is a lot of love in that drawing. That and I think Cat might have kicked me out of the house if I didn’t admit I had feelings for you and I was going to make a move. Her and Dot thought we were already dating.”

Alec snorts a bit at that. “How come? It’s not like we spent a lot of time with them together.”

“I might have… spoken about you. More than once. And told them we had kissed. It was a whole thing.”

They both smile, something soft and shared.

“Pull over,” Alec says suddenly.

Magnus frowns but does as asked. He parks on the side of the road quickly and gives Alec a puzzled look.

“What—“ he starts to ask but stops right away when Alec leans over and puts a hand on his cheek.

“Please tell me I can kiss you now.” His voice is almost pleading, and his hazel eyes definitely are.

Alec only waits for Magnus’ nod before he kisses him. It’s a bit of an awkward angle, leaning halfway through the car, but it doesn’t matter. It’s _Magnus_. It’s Magnus who loves him, who wants him, who told him he is special and who makes him feel special. It’s Magnus and him, together.

They kiss and they kiss, and they don’t stop for so long that when they finally break apart, they are panting heavily.

“We should go, I wouldn’t want you to miss your plane.” Magnus’ voice is full of regrets.

Alec almost wants to say that he doesn’t care about his plane, that he only cares about him, about being with him and around him at all time. He remembers Izzy then and nods.

“We should.”

At the airport, they part with more kisses, more promises for the New Year. It’s difficult, leaving Magnus behind when they just told each other how they feel, but Alec does it.

\---

On the fourth of January, Magnus is standing in the airport, Madzie by his side. His niece insisted on coming to pick Alexander up with him, since he had told her he had found her a Christmas gift. Despite neither her nor anyone in her family celebrating the christian holiday, she heard the word gift and got excited. Magnus knows Alec got them all gifts, despite their protests. They don’t celebrate the holiday, after all, and it was needless. But Alexander had just replied that it was just gifts at this point, since they were ten days past Christmas, and that it was normal for him to bring back gifts when he visited his family. They are equally stubborn, and that conversation had ended with both of them with a hand in their pants. Phone sex had definitely kept them going through the separation.

Now though, if his boyfriend could hurry up, they could move on to phoneless sex, and he would really appreciate that. Once they are far away from the teenager bouncing on her heels next to him of course.

“Uncle Magnus, stop staring at the clock,” Madzie says, pinching his arm. “It won’t make him arrive any sooner.”

Magnus knows that. He _knows_ that. And yet… He protests when she pinches him again and draws her against him, poking her sides and tickling her until she begs for mercy.

“I see you guys are having fun.” Alexander laughs slightly when they startle to look at him. “Should I leave you two be and get a taxi?”

He doesn’t have much time to say much else because Madzie throws herself at him and hugs him tightly. She starts telling him excitedly about everything she did during the vacations, even showing him some of her photos on her phone. He praises her and listens to her, but his eyes are quickly drawn to Magnus. Noticing that, the teenager rolls her eyes and grabs his bag.

“I’m going to the car, don’t take too long!”

She leaves and Alexander chuckles. It warms Magnus to his core. Hearing the sound over the phone was already great, but hearing it here, right now, it’s so much more.

“Hi,” he whispers and comes closer.

Alec smiles widely and wraps a strong arm around his waist. “Hi,” he repeats and then kisses him deeply.

When they get home, they’ll take their time to undress each other and kiss more, but for now, they are content with this. They are already at home with each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there it is, the end! If you want to know more about my new projects / talk more about this fic / yell at me about anything shadowhunters related, I have a personal / shadowhunter sideblog I rarely use, but am looking for an excuse to use. Come talk to me there, I'm @ saltytransmalec ! 
> 
> Thank you for reading the fic to the end and giving it the love you did! It was super fun to see people's reactions :)

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter! 
> 
> Here is the main resource I used, and other than that, it's mostly googling and research: https://aesterea.tumblr.com/post/172759534879/more-on-writing-muslim-characters-from-a-hijabi 
> 
> Don't hesitate to tell me if there is something that's wrong! 
> 
> Please leave a comment or kudos!


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